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Ask HN: How have you improved your communication skills?

by eneifert on 12/1/14, 3:52 PM with 4 comments

I am a programmer and now founder of a small startup who keeps getting more responsibilities that require good communication skills but I realize that I am not the most gifted communicator (I'm also not the worst either). I am sure many of you were in the same boat and had to grow into roles like managing employees, pitching projects to potential clients, fundraising, etc. So what things have helped you? Perhaps some books, blogs, mentors, or seminars?

On a personal note: in meetings I often end up being either too forceful with my ideas or to passive and then regretting agreeing to things I wished I hadn't. When I try to focus on collaboration from all parties the conversation usually becomes too long and nothing gets decided. Over the years I have really benefited from books like 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, or the 5 Dysfunctions of a team, but I feel like some resources would be helpful.

Thanks, Eric

  • by colept on 12/1/14, 4:05 PM

    One book that I recommend to anyone looking to improve their communication skills:

    Systematic Theories of Argumentation http://catdir.loc.gov/catdir/samples/cam041/2003046181.pdf

    I took a course in college which focused upon the different ways you can perceive or approach an argument. The lessons learned apply beyond the scope of debate and argumentation, and have changed the way I look at all interactions as a form of negotiated communications.

  • by zhte415 on 12/2/14, 11:18 AM

    I really like the Harvard program on negotiation. A lot of the ideas are shared online, website here: http://www.pon.harvard.edu/

    If you can get a group of friends together, try some of the exercises. I find playing the role of moderator in the group exercises opens up a lot of exploration of how others communicate, and how to get them (and yourself) doing so better.

  • by taprun on 12/1/14, 5:24 PM

    Reading books won't help as much as practice speaking and tailored feedback. Why not join a Toastmasters club? They're pretty cheap and will make you much better at both ipromptu and prepared speaking. http://www.toastmasters.org/

  • by Peroni on 12/1/14, 4:18 PM

    Ben Horowitz's book 'The Hard Thing About Hard Things' is a bit of a goldmine for someone in your shoes: http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Hard-Thing-About-Things/dp/00622...