by ohjeez on 6/23/25, 10:22 PM with 79 comments
by charlie-83 on 6/23/25, 10:59 PM
Why do this? 1. I was leaving behind a lot of people I consider friends and wanted them to have a better experience. 2. I think it gave a good last impression which they might remember.
Obviously this was my specific situation and the managers were actually normal, nice people who could fathom that they may have made mistakes which isn't always the case.
by jrsdav on 6/23/25, 10:37 PM
On the flip side, the author is right -- it's a small world out there. While I don't regret doing the "right thing" and speaking up about serious issues, I am nervous that I burned some bridges with the two leaders who were let go after my departure. So far it hasn't come back to bite me (~8 years and 3 jobs later), but as they say time will tell.
by ironchef on 6/23/25, 10:37 PM
I guess I would counter with if I have friends there, I would like their lives to be better. If my exit interview is able to do that, then I would take that as a net positive.
by akdor1154 on 6/23/25, 10:52 PM
This horrible game theory bullshit being applied to all work interactions is why I will never work for an American company again.
by m101 on 6/23/25, 11:14 PM
by mystified5016 on 6/23/25, 10:46 PM
If you're walking out over unfair treatment or wage theft or similar, sure, skip the interview.
If you're at the end of your first internship, or leaving on good terms, or both parties genuinely care, there's plenty to be gained.
The exit interview I had with an intern after my first time mentoring was very valuable for both of us, and was a positive point in our relationship.
On the other hand, I'm quitting the same job and will be declining any exit interview with "I've spent the last six months explaining to you why I'm quitting". There is no value at all to be gained from the conversation so I won't.
Skip the interview if the job sucks. Participate if you think you'll get value, or in particular if you're young and early in your career.
by moomin on 6/23/25, 10:37 PM
Q: Did you feel like a valued member of the team?
A: I chose to leave.
Q: (getting pretty exasperated by this point) Would you care to expand on that.
A: No.
Grief, it was painful and i remember it to that day. But yes, the moment you’ve handed in your resignation, that part of your life is over. There’s literally no upside in doing anything other than smiling and getting out of the door.
by jonplackett on 6/23/25, 11:05 PM
This may or may not be the case though. Many people at companies actually do give a shit!
by pxx on 6/23/25, 11:33 PM
Sure, it didn't get me any more comp at that particular firm but I've heard from those who stayed behind that they eventually did relent.
by throwawaymaths on 6/23/25, 10:50 PM
small startup, you already have excercised shares, you want the company to continue to hockey stick but you think there is a blind spot in leadership that blocks hockey sticking.
by YmiYugy on 6/23/25, 11:12 PM
by mistermaster1 on 6/23/25, 11:38 PM
So this actually happened for me with regards to my last job. I was honest during my exit interview and said while the company was largely a good place, the only negative (and negative by far) was a particular manager at the firm, and that he was the sole reason I was resigning. About 2 months later that manager was asked to leave. I also had lunch with his manager a few months ago where he acknowledged that his hiring “John” (the horrible manager) was the worst decision of his career.
by zug_zug on 6/23/25, 11:15 PM
by burnt-resistor on 6/24/25, 11:10 AM
I was once "forced to resign" for not expeditiously rushing to weaken (punch random holes in) the security of a private credit card network (PCI-DSS applicable) accessible only by a proper VPN. Oh, well, on to the next. There is zero advantage to helping an organization with constructive feedback when they're firing someone, and saying anything negative only puts the ex-employee in potential legal jeopardy.
by pentaphobe on 6/24/25, 7:51 PM
A good reminder to be cautious , but I don't think the absolute position justified..
I run voluntary exit interviews with departing engineers - I'm not in HR (more of an engineering advocate / practice lead) and any disclosure of content is entirely opt-in, as it's not remotely necessary.
The purpose of these exit interviews _actually is_ to make us better & hold leadership accountable. (And give an escape hatch to The SNAFU Principle [^1])
Ideally we wouldn't only learn this stuff when someone's leaving, but alas sometimes that's how it goes.
FWIW: generally collate insights and themes from these interviews, periodic skip 1:1s, etc.. and use them to report on broad trends we're doing well / sucking at.
For me these things are invaluable.
by potato3732842 on 6/23/25, 11:09 PM
Now, if you've ground out enough leet code to land an almost no-show job at some bigco that runs on monopoly bucks and everyone is silo'd and everyone is divorced from actual results you'll probably never see that. But it happens.
by sundaeofshock on 6/23/25, 11:21 PM
There is zero value in participating in an exit interview. Just don’t do it.
by protocolture on 6/23/25, 11:21 PM
Pretty satisfied tbh.
by creakingstairs on 6/23/25, 11:21 PM
In the another job I didn’t think providing any kind of feedback would help me or anyone there due to multiple reasons, so I didn’t even try.
My experience has been that people (including me) kinda suck at accepting critical feedback. You could try to mitigate this with some techniques but you never really know how the receivers will take it (or how the message is relayed!!) So the rational thing to do is to play it safe and not do an exit interview unless you are sure that it won’t backfire on you.
by jordemort on 6/24/25, 12:28 PM
by sgerenser on 6/23/25, 11:16 PM
by loloquwowndueo on 6/23/25, 11:30 PM
by cainxinth on 6/24/25, 11:52 AM
by ungreased0675 on 6/23/25, 11:19 PM
by jamesfinlayson on 6/24/25, 1:07 AM
by mianos on 6/24/25, 12:25 AM
What it said; I respected my team and wanted to give them the best possible chance so I worked for them. The people above me didn't give a shit. It's all quite funny in hindsight how clear that is. To any of my teams reading this, I love you people, I'll try and get you here when I can. :)
by dasil003 on 6/24/25, 12:32 AM
The place to really consider more direct feedback is with people that you have worked closely with. Personal relationships matter infinitely more than HR or any "official" record. If you have good relationships with your boss and/or peers, talk to them and give your thoughts, it could give you some closure and maybe even potentially improve things. Just don't let it turn into a unconstructive venting session. Ultimately working in organizations is hard and every single person can generate a laundry list of complaints, the real value is in finding a path to improve with the levers under your control. If you have credible idea about how to nudge things in the right direction, people will tend to appreciate that; if you're just looking for commiseration about how broken everything is then keep your opinion to yourself.
by more_corn on 6/24/25, 4:22 PM
You get a reputation as a straight shooter You start acting at an executive level You get a reputation as someone who not only sees the problems but has ideas on how to fix them.
Do you want to go through life cowering in your rut or do you want to step up, take responsibility and start fixing shit?
Don’t be unkind, but learning to give constructive feedback is a life skill. Cultivate it and learn from your mistakes. Don’t be so afraid to make mistakes that you never learn anything.
by clint on 6/23/25, 10:34 PM
by _def on 6/23/25, 10:54 PM
by _rm on 6/24/25, 10:35 AM
Staying silent certainly plays right by sociopaths and other wrongdoers, sparing them the accountability that holds them at bay.
It also says to those remaining who may not be in as strong a place as you to leave, that you couldn't care less about their suffering, just "what's in it for me?".
Smacks a bit sociopathic itself.