from Hacker News

The Unbearable Loudness of Chewing

by k2enemy on 3/25/25, 12:41 PM with 72 comments

• by grues-dinner on 3/28/25, 1:05 AM

  The most frustrating thing about it is that very many people take it extremely personally if there's even a whisper of a suggestion that they could eat more quietly. To the extent some people will "revenge chew" to make a point that it could be worse. For some reason, that's a huge taboo, and it seems to cross all cultures. The only relationship I can think of where you can say "close your mouth when chewing" and not risk major offense is a parent-child one.

  The only thing I find to improve it is to not be tired or stressed when eating with others, or lively conversation as a distraction. Easy, right?

• by misoslurp on 3/28/25, 4:45 AM

  I regret constantly hitting my little brother when he was chewing with his mouth open at the dinner table. I was about 13 and had developed misophonia, he must have been 5. Our parents didn't understand it. I didn't understand it. I couldn't control myself for years. He was a sweet boy in a poor and dysfunctional family that also fell apart around that time. At the very least, he deserved a better brother.

  Decades later, I still get abruptly and irrationally angry when people smack their lips, though I have learnt to suppress the urge to assault the source of the sound.

  I can't eat with my Chinese colleagues. I get that more air makes each bite taste better, but it is hard to eat or even focus when your brain is telling you to rip their heads off to stop the sound.

  It's an odd curse to live with, as, aside from the situation with my brother, I have otherwise never hurt or assaulted anyone in my life and am generally regarded as a softy. I have to force myself to sit at the dinner table with my mother when she visits, as she still smacks her lips.

  Some people smack their lips in quick succession when they taste something new, like how birds drink water, and it drives me up the walls. Slurping is triggering, but not as much. Some people swallow excessively as presenters and will make a "tsk" sound with their tongues before speaking, which is worse than slurping and usually causes me to stop watching the presentation.

  I'm glad there is some traction with misophonia research. We need help.

• by happytoexplain on 3/28/25, 12:54 AM

  It's completely psychological for me (as in, not a medical mystery). I have a strong, deep-seated association between loud eating and inconsiderateness, because it's often unnecessary (ostensibly). Grossness is part of it, but that's secondary - more of a multiplier rather than being the core problem. It's about the perceived unnecessary-ness: Chewing with your mouth open, biting the spoon, vocalizing, slurping, talking with your mouth full. However, there are other reasons for these things: Cultural, physiological. One often probably doesn't even notice one is doing it. Also, if it doesn't bother you, you may not even be aware that it bothers somebody else (or have trouble sympathizing).

  The trouble is willing myself into accepting these reasons. The thought "Why are you doing that. Don't you notice?" is nigh unavoidable. It takes conscious effort to not show signs of irritation externally. Sometimes I simply have to politely remove myself.

• by dbalatero on 3/28/25, 1:03 AM

  If I had to list the top 5 problems in my life, misophonia would occupy all 5 slots. It's often unbearable, and at the very best I'm in a consistent but low level state of anxiety. I really hope it gets researched more.

• by comrade1234 on 3/28/25, 12:44 AM

  I had a friend in undergrad that couldn’t eat in the dorm cafeteria because everyone around was chewing and chewing and slurping and just eating normally but he found it intolerable. He thought it was the grossest thing possible - so many people eating in public.

  He came from a farm in rural farm town. He probably never had been around more than a few people at once, let alone eating together.

  Anyway in a few months he was normal and had no problem eating in a crowd.

• by derefr on 3/28/25, 3:54 AM

  I don't normally get annoyed by particular noises... but I've had several middle-ear infections in my life, and I've noticed that every time I get one, I temporarily develop a strong misophonia.

  Sometimes, in such infections, particular sounds seem to vibrate my (irritated, inflamed, sensitized) eardrums in a particularly noticeable and distracting way. It's not all sounds, though! Based on the feeling and the triggers, I'd say the feeling is of there being something gummed up right against (the inside side of) my eardrum; where specific frequencies of vibration cause the eardrum to rub itself against this gummy thing.

  And other times, in such infections, particular sounds seem to not irritate the eardrum per se, but rather the auditory canal (Eustachian tube). In those cases, it feels like sounds of the right frequency seem to resonate the auditory canal itself (not usually possible due to it being open+connected to your sinuses — but possible when that opening is plugged with gunk!), causing any little dried bits of "stuff" (blood clots, stones from antibody-expunged bacterial biofilms, etc) to "rattle around" inside there. These sensations make me wish I could somehow stick a finger right through my eardrum and down my auditory canal, and itch the spot. (Or get a Eustachian-tube suctioning. Too bad they won't do that to you unless you go deaf from blockage; the one time I did get it, I heard better than I have in years!)

  Anyway, this is all enough to make me wonder whether at least some of the people with misophonia (or auditory-hypersensitive sensory processing disorders) just have chronic undiagnosed middle-ear infections (or sequelae of such.)

• by toomanyrichies on 3/28/25, 6:24 AM

  I've had this since I was a kid. My stepdad is a loud chewer, and when I was younger the chewing was a big source of the resentment I harbored against him (not the only source, but a major one).

  Now we have a better relationship, to the point where I felt comfortable discussing my discomfort with his chewing. But rather than frame it as "Can you please chew more quietly", I told him I'd prefer to wear earbuds when we eat dinner together. I also told him about misophonia, which I had learned about in the intervening years since childhood. He was a little confused, but didn't feel like I was criticizing him.

  Now when we eat together, we eat without conversation since I'm listening to music during the meal. It can be a bit weird when there are others present, but when it's just the two of us it's fine. It's made mealtime together tolerable, whereas in the past each meal was an excruciating ordeal.

• by martinpw on 3/28/25, 4:07 AM

  Could this explain the prevalence of louder music in restaurants? Objectively I dislike loud music in such environments, but maybe the fact it hides such chewing noises makes it subtly attractive and I end up being drawn to such places for subconscious reasons, thus unwittingly incentivizing the presence of said loud music.

  Or maybe I am just overthinking it.

• by iwontberude on 3/28/25, 2:20 AM

  I have misophonia but only from humans eating, for some reason I enjoy the sounds of my pets and other animals in nature eating.

• by pseudosaid on 3/28/25, 9:16 PM

  being annoyed is a result of all ready being in discomfort and blaming whatever stimuli you can scapegoat to avoid acknowledging your own dis-ease.

  walk around with some chronic pain, and see how quick everything annoys you and how self righteous that disapproval is.

  More like the unbearable displacement of blame

• by thenthenthen on 3/28/25, 6:21 AM

  Life long misophonia sufferer: I cured it by going to places where there is a constant noisefloor: asian mega cities. Not to mention chewing is absolutely mandatory here. Seriously. Live in and urban village in Guangzhou for a year or so. No treatment needed and prolly cheaper too

• by zonkerdonker on 3/28/25, 2:37 AM

  Seems all the sufferers of this have come out in this thread. I really wonder how much of this is cultural. It's considered polite in many east asian cultures to eat and slurp loudly - it means you appreciate the food.

  I have to imagine the occurance of eating misophonia is much lower there.

• by p3rls on 3/28/25, 2:43 PM

  Scott Alexander just had a great post about misophonia https://www.astralcodexten.com/p/misophonia-beyond-sensory-s...

• by kazinator on 3/28/25, 5:24 AM

  A few months ago I was browsing book spines in a Japanese library/store. I see something with 存在の耐えられない軽さ. Sonzai no taerarenai ... W00T? Is that Kundera's book, The Unbearable Lightness of Being? Yep.

• by more_corn on 3/26/25, 4:05 AM

  It comes and goes but when it’s bad it’s really bad. I’ve had to leave the room on several occasions. I’ve even left because I find my own chewing too loud and I feel rude subjecting someone else to it.

• by bitwize on 3/28/25, 6:42 AM

  There is a special circle of hell for people who take long shits at work and steal office supplies. In this circle, they are sat at a computer, every day, and must prepare an elaborate profitability analysis spreadsheet or something by close of business. Meanwhile, behind them is sat a row of demons. Each demon has a very crunchy food -- potato chips, carrot sticks, Chee-tos, the bones of sinners, and so forth, which they proceed to crunch loudly on while the condemned do their work.

• by dbalatero on 3/28/25, 1:42 AM

  Another reason open office plans are a nightmare. Even with headphones, misokinesia is a thing (seeing a trigger sound visually, and your brain fills in the details).

• by bublyboi on 3/28/25, 5:31 AM

  I have a coworker with a mechanical keyboard, and I find myself irrationally upset at him throughout the day. No one else seems to mind.

• by y-curious on 3/29/25, 6:14 PM

  I don't see it mentioned in the comments but the big trigger for me is chewing nuts. The problem is there's no way to even modify your behavior when eating them; It's a loud process by nature.

  I just remove myself from the situation.

• by MathMonkeyMan on 3/28/25, 3:54 AM

  I didn't know that this was so widespread.

  I assumed that people who are bothered by chewing noises are bothered because some parent traumatized them for making chewing noises, and that's all there is to it.

  Sounds like there's more to it.

• by thayne on 3/28/25, 8:40 AM

  Huh, it is mentioned multiple times that it usually manifests as a teenager, but for me it was much earlier. I can't remember a time when I wasn't effected by it.

• by chilldsgn on 3/28/25, 8:26 AM

  My stepdad has false teeth that aren't properly sized and they make a very disturbing clattering sound when he chews

• by braebo on 3/28/25, 11:23 AM

  My solution is to always wear my AirPods Pro in conversation mode at a dinner table. Solved!

• by hooverd on 3/28/25, 1:38 AM

  Nothing like your coworker loudly and sloppily eating a stonefruit.

• by jasonb05 on 3/28/25, 5:52 AM

  I have it.

  Chewing is the worst. Any mouth noises. Throat clearing. Tounge clicking. And on.

  Mother had it. Sister has it. Father told off my mother for being so hard on us for our "noises" telling her she was going to give us "a complex". I guess she did. Behavioral + genetic most likely.

  It sucks. I'm too hard on my own kids, even after having clear-headed/rational conversations about it. It's not rational. Pure emotion boiling over.

  I secretly wish to be deaf. I use headphones all the time. For decades. Too loud.

• by y1n0 on 3/28/25, 6:03 AM

  I used to have this. I don't anymore, and weirdly I kind of like chewing sounds now. It actually triggers ASMR for me. Not all sounds, like definitely not slurping, but other clicking/crunching sounds trigger ASMR for me.

  It's strange. Because I do remember being extremely grossed out by the sound of my father eating cereal at breakfast in the morning before school. I wouldn't be able to eat my own food it disgusted me so much.

• by reg_dunlop on 3/28/25, 6:23 AM

  There is a track on musicforprogramming.net which has a passage of music punctuated by someone chewing loudly with their mouth open. I was deep in a flow state the first time this track started playing and the utter disgust was, as the title suggest, unbearable. I recommend jettisoning that track from your playlist if you, like I and this author, share this aversion

• by thr0w on 3/28/25, 1:46 AM

  Love how this stuff gets painted as psychiatric disorder. Some people are oafish, it's natural to be disgusted by their behavior.

• by sunnysidedown on 3/25/25, 1:11 PM

  "there's dozens of us!!"

  - me with misophonia