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Ask HN: Self-Improvement for the Pseudo-Religious?

by mkeedlinger on 2/7/24, 8:52 AM with 16 comments

• by muzani on 2/9/24, 4:01 AM

  You don't necessarily want "self-improvement". Improvement is a vector; you need a direction. You should focus on the scalar aspect, moving around, without direction.

  All religions start off tackling spirituality and morality. Sit and think about everything and you have Buddhism. Focus on relationships and virtues and you have Confucianism. Focus on second chances and forgiveness and you have Christianity. Focus on serving a single dominant God and you have Islam and Judaism.

  You can and should explore all of these, at least on a surface level. There's a lot of good ideas out there and people have literally sat around their whole lives debating and refining these ideas. Ideas that are not good tend to get lost to time.

  There's a popular painting, The Vinegar Tasters, which depicts three men tasting vinegar representing life. Buddha thinks it bitter. Confucius thinks it sour. Laozi thinks it sweet. As a pseudo-religious, you could be unattached enough to understand and appreciate the perspective of these men.

  Why not do all of them, understand why all religions are what they are. Religions are developed over thousands of years. Cults usually revolve around a common mystical experience. Religions often successfully translate that experience into a book and replicate it hundreds of years later.

• by nonrandomstring on 2/7/24, 10:02 AM

  Improvement towards what? To what end?

  There are a million "self improvement" cults out there all of which are dangerous rabbit holes to fall down. If it's got a website, a newsletter, a charismatic leader, and a few million outspoken supporters that's probably a sign to steer clear.

  In my opinion there's some practices that help:

  Seek out and talk to people you respect. Better if you can do this face to face, in real life. Having respected mentors should not stop where parents and school teachers leave off. If you're really stuck socially at this (as so many young people are today), try paying someone like a therapist of coach to get you unstuck.

  Read old books. Actual paper books from before 2000 at least. Build up a good knowledge of human psychology, philosophy, politics, the arts and classic literature. Philosophy of human values is a good place to start.

• by VoodooJuJu on 2/7/24, 10:27 PM

  I would say have some courage and re-embrace what you left behind. You even recognize you were wrong to abandon it, that it actually did something for you. Don't feel bad though - many moderns are in the same boat. Modernity has broken so many of us. Just cut your losses and get back to what you know is good and true. Returning to it, I think you'll have a very uniquely powerful perspective. You know what it's like to live with and without it, and now you know it's better to live with it.

  It's like brushing your teeth. I can tell you it's good. But how do I sell it to you? I sell you belief - scientism studies and whatnot.

  That's what religion is. It's things that are good and true for you and everyone around you, a handful of wise men recognize this, but then how do they sell it to everyone? Through belief. Unfortunately, you have a problem believing, but that's ok, lots of moderns do. But you seem to realize that what's being sold is actually good for you. You've admitted as much by saying you feel like something's missing. So just skip the belief part for now and get back to what the belief is actually trying to sell you: the philosophies.

  Rather than waste time visiting a bunch of new age-y islands, maybe just get back to the shores you initially departed from.

• by satvikpendem on 2/7/24, 7:01 PM

  You might want to read philosophers in general, such as Seneca or Epictetus. I personally like the stoics like Marcus Aurelius and his book Meditations.

• by Minor49er on 2/7/24, 9:41 AM

  You are becoming less religious, yet want to be religiously fulfilled? Why move away from faith if it is valuable to you?

• by runjake on 2/7/24, 10:07 PM

  Stoicism and Buddhist texts that don’t involve the supernatural.

  Eg. Meditations and stuff like Buddhism Without Beliefs and Buddhist Daily Reflections.

• by 082349872349872 on 2/7/24, 10:57 AM

  You don't have to believe in elves and dragons to enjoy The Hobbit; you don't have to believe in gods and devils to find useful quandries* in sermons and scriptures.

  > The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet! — not Ecclesiastes 9:11

  * see also Abelard, Sic et Non, ca. 1120

• by aristofun on 2/8/24, 10:39 PM

  Ironically without a concept of god (or anything similar having ideal quantities) there is no reason neither measure for self improving.

  Because what is the end game if not reaching ideal?

  Fortunately to have this ideal in your space doesn’t force you to follow any specific dogma.

  But i bet finding a branch that fits you best is an easier task than coming up from scratch on your own.

  And much more fruitful than finding it among pseudo-atheistic dogmas.

• by brudgers on 2/7/24, 6:59 PM

  What personal qualities do you feel are worth developing?

  Or if you would like suggestions: empathy, kindness, forbearance, and forgiveness.

  Good luck.

• by ted_bunny on 2/8/24, 12:37 PM

  Yoga. Direct religious experience, and a bucket of other benefits.

• by antwerp1 on 2/7/24, 8:05 PM

  You want fire and brimstone self-help?