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Ask HN: How to Be a Good Mentor?

by 120bits on 10/18/23, 5:19 PM with 4 comments

Hi

I have been recently asked to mentor and this is my first time being a mentor. I have over 12+ years of software engineering experience and have fair share of life experiences that has taught lot of valuable lessons.

I wanted to know if you have any tips and guidelines and how should I be a better mentor.

Thanks.

  • by tomashidalgo on 10/21/23, 5:27 PM

    It is difficult to give an accurate answer to these types of questions, but if I can recommend something, it is to focus on what YOU would have liked if you were in the position of the people you are going to mentor. There is a concept by the founders of airbnb that is, generate a 7 star experience, focus on not only making it fantastic, but that after your help you have literally changed their lives.

  • by clubm8 on 10/18/23, 6:00 PM

    earn respect rather than gatekeep access to whatever will lift them out of precarity and/or realize their dreams.

    too many "mentors" are narcicists who want someone to fuel them with enough narcicistic supply to "earn" things like referrals to non-abusive companies/teams that should be freely given.

    by this point, i look askance at formal mentorship -- just be an ally, a friend -- turn to he person next to you and speak like they're your brother or sister.

    (yes, this means you can never "date" them -- so goddamn tired of people conflating that and networking)