by SunghoYahng on 7/25/23, 11:06 AM with 152 comments
by zer0tonin on 7/26/23, 3:18 PM
I think the main cause was actually under-stimulation: I was both very socially reclusive, and bored to death by schoolwork. I would guess that my brain was trying to compensate for the lack of social life and things to do by making up people and scenarios were stuff actually happens.
This tendency to constantly daydream faded away as I gained independance and entered adulthood. Since I had more stuff to do and more people to talk to. It kinda re-appeared during the 2020-2021 lockdowns, since boredom came back. I think I had almost forgot how it felt to intensely daydream at that point.
by vishkk on 7/26/23, 4:25 PM
“Just as some people work because they’re bored, I sometimes write because I have nothing to say. Daydreaming, which occurs naturally to people when they’re not thinking, in me takes written form, for I know how to dream in prose. And there are many sincere feelings and much genuine emotion that I extract from not feeling”
- Fernando Pessoa
“I hesitate in everything, often without knowing why. How often I’ve sought – as my own version of the straight line, seeing it in my mind as the ideal straight line – the longest distance between two points. I’ve never had a knack for the active life. I’ve always taken wrong steps that no one else takes; I’ve always had to make an effort to do what comes naturally to other people. I’ve always wanted to achieve what others have achieved almost without wanting it. Between me and life there were always sheets of frosted glass that I couldn’t tell were there by sight or by touch; I didn’t live that life or that dimension. I was the daydream of what I wanted to be, and my dreaming began in my will: my goals were always the first fiction of what I never was.”
Fernando Pessoa
by yasman on 7/26/23, 4:34 PM
“Inner Work” by Robert Johnson is a very approachable text. It focuses on using two technologies for personal growth: dream analysis and active imagination (basically day dreaming but you write it down and have a convo with your subconscious).
He warns the imagination one if you really get into it can be all consuming. Reminds me of MD as this guy is going thru it.
Might be worth talking to a Jungian therapist (or any therapist really). A Jungian might want to lean more onto the day dreaming to uncover a message if there is one as opposed to trying to “manage it”.
I daydreamed heavily when I was younger. A combination of isolation and ways to process hormones and unresolved trauma - what I discover many years later.
by konaraddi on 7/26/23, 7:06 PM
Some things that have helped a close friend get in the groove of staying present and reduce the frequency and duration of daydreaming: trying to meditate, focusing on the breath to stay present, making an effort to notice when they’re daydreaming and politely telling themselves things to the effect of “come back, the real world is here, not there”, and actively pursuing something interesting (because it’s hard to say no to an addiction unless there’s an engaging substitute).
by weinzierl on 7/26/23, 4:35 PM
I sat down at my old place in the classroom and looked out the window. When I saw the old tree in front of it, it immediately struck me:
How many hours must I have spent watching this tree and while dreaming away utterly bored by what was happening around me.
by brachika on 7/26/23, 4:12 PM
How I solved this? Well, not by myself. One of the topics of my daydreams was this girl that I was infatuated with. Long story short, we somehow get together, I realize that our relationship wasn't exactly going on the way I imagined it, we break up, I go through quite a depressive, suicidal period, I lose most of my friends. Completely unrelated, two years after I had to do a surgery which kinda grounded me more into reality. Since then, I rarely daydream, it is like my imaginary world was shattered by this moment. It is like I finally 'grew'.
by jwx48 on 7/26/23, 3:55 PM
--- [0] I need to be very specific here: I do not think I was smarter than my classmates, or some special genius. I had just been afforded more of an educational foundation by that point in time.
by scyzoryk_xyz on 7/26/23, 4:51 PM
I know many creatives/artists who harness such traits to their advantage. I suspect more people experience reality like this than would openly admit. This is what I understand as “privacy” in my own way.
ADHD was my diagnosis, what I learned is that for everyone with the disorder a completely different set of traits manifest themselves. Different experiences lead to different coping strategies, which in turn develop different personalities and values depending on the experiences with success/failures/traumas. Because of this treatments vary. For some it’s medication, for others it’s something else. Treatment is a big word too - what if along with the things you don’t like there are parts that make you who you are. You don’t want “treatment” to kill those off.
by jkingsman on 7/26/23, 4:14 PM
I'm surprised not to see consideration of this as a biochemical phenomenon (beyond the reductive "everything in the brain is biochemical") -- I wonder if an anatomical or signal/chemical oddity could put someone in a state where they're predisposed to switch on the dreaming/imagining circuits in the middle of tasks, almost like a very odd flavor of narcolepsy (which, among other causes, is commonly associated with the immune system destroying cells that produce a likely wakefulness-signalling protein).
by adamwong246 on 7/26/23, 3:18 PM
by richardjam73 on 7/25/23, 1:42 PM
by eyelidlessness on 7/26/23, 5:47 PM
> Interestingly, the MD paradox points towards an unintended consequence of ADHD treatment - it could potentially amplify daydreaming, a peculiar side-effect I noticed while medicated with methylphenidate. In essence, ADHD medication might turbocharge MD.
This isn’t a paradox, and it doesn’t necessarily rule out ADHD as an underlying cause/exacerbating factor. Hyperfocus is a common ADHD symptom; said hyperfocus can be fixated on just about anything, yes even daydreaming; stimulants used to treat ADHD symptoms like lack of focus can reinforce unwanted hyperfocus, it’s an unfortunate side effect.
by rg111 on 7/26/23, 7:13 PM
Social Media was a much bigger problem for me. Which I got rid of after reading Deep Work.
And I, from my childhood have had, what is often called "directional disorientation". Everyone who knows me considers me smart, I have achievements to demonstrate that. But, I can never remember how to navigate to an address. It takes me about 6-7 times navigating via Google Maps before I can visit it without Maps.
I am sometimes confused about some streets of my home town!
I don't have problem focusing for longer times. I can work hard and learn quickly, but familiarity with physical spaces has always eluded me.
Edit: Over the years, I have talked with at least half a dozen people on the internet who told me that they believe that they have this thing, if it is a thing.
by petercooper on 7/26/23, 6:51 PM
by whywhywhywhy on 7/26/23, 6:24 PM
by jancsika on 7/27/23, 3:28 AM
Rankly speculating-- there's some extremely painful emotion the author is avoiding by opting for daydream over engaging with whatever is going on in reality.
Edit: perhaps not 100% of the daydreams. I mean, sometimes humans really are bored. But it's very likely in some of these contexts, the author has a decent idea of what they want to do in reality and are specifically avoiding it to avoid some painful emotion that goes with whatever potential negative consequence could come from their action.
With this many daydreams that are this disruptive, seems very likely they're protecting the author from something. (Or they protected the child version of the author and continue their "job" of protecting into adulthood where they've become a hindrance.)
by anon7331 on 7/27/23, 12:47 AM
For me, the primary trigger is music (both audio and video). If I am listening to it, the day dreaming kicks in and it's too much to handle. As a software engineer this is a pain in the ass to say the least...
The only thing to help me was completely cutting off my triggers. I had to cut out music completely as well as remove Youtube from my workflow (no music, podcasts, passive listening, etc). I had to make additional cuts to other triggers as well... the only thing that helps is a complete cut off.
Edit: I recommend buying some ear plugs and using those instead of headphones or airpods...
by qez2 on 7/26/23, 4:36 PM
Or at least I did. My symptoms lessened gradually over the years as I got older. I had it much less at 22 years old compared to 12 years old.
But I wouldn't have it differently. My mind wandering is (or was) the most important thing about me, and constitute who I am. I wouldn't want to become a different person. Then again, it doesn't take me an hour to change clothes.
by anjc on 7/26/23, 10:25 PM
An extreme example is that "call of the void" feeling one gets when standing beside a large drop. Is it daydreaming to engage with this feeling in this scenario, or is it an intuitive way to reinforce positive decisions?
by mrangle on 7/26/23, 9:53 PM
by vsareto on 7/26/23, 4:07 PM
by atlantic on 7/27/23, 11:27 AM
by SteveDR on 7/26/23, 4:53 PM
by stuckinhell on 7/26/23, 7:11 PM
I wish I could have shaken him out of it.
by Bluescreenbuddy on 7/27/23, 5:14 PM
by mashygpig on 7/27/23, 1:57 AM
by TastyAmphibian on 7/27/23, 8:19 AM
by kpw94 on 7/26/23, 4:30 PM
Read somewhere that listening to music can trigger MD, is that the case for you? (Do you get less MD if you don't listen to music that day?)
by hu3 on 7/26/23, 4:04 PM
- Why Day Dreams Get In Your Way (33 minutes): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Gw6gLBPvA8
- Your Constant Daydreaming Can Be Hurting Your Mental Health (42 minutes): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUSi9tzdNiE
by soulofmischief on 7/26/23, 5:13 PM
Well I feel seen today. At times in my youth I seriously questioned whether I had schizophrenia... but I never developed the symptoms.
What I do have seems to be a mixture of OCD-related intrusive thoughts and a serious problem with daydreaming/dissociation that severe ADHD thus far has seemed to acceptably explain. But ADHD doesn't explain the deep daydreaming and sudden talking out loud, entire days spent in a catatonic state, etc.
> For instance, remembering routes or even simple details like the layout of a frequently visited place demands active processing from me
People have definitely commented on my trouble remembering recently taken routes... always just hard to know how common this. A general sense of navigation seems to make up for it but it takes many, many trips for me to not get lost when I move to a new location.
> Even simple tasks, which involve a few steps (like taking medicine or changing clothes), can turn into a time-consuming endeavor due to the interruptions caused by daydreaming
Most definitely, and again the presence of ADHD makes this difficult to isolate and understand. I mean, all of these these are definitely potential symptoms of ADHD. It just seems to not be the usual case for people I meet with ADHD. It becomes extremely difficult making friends, even ones with ADHD, understand what I go through. Most write it off as me being dramatic about everyday experiences that everyone has, not understanding the acute or chronic nature of the symptoms.
A friend recently told me I paid too much attention to diagnoses, but I have had these diagnoses for my entire life and they affect me in such an extreme way that the only progress I have made has been with deep, thorough medical research about my conditions. Even past childhood therapists totally misunderstood these conditions and sometimes made things worse.
> Similarly, changing clothes can take more than an hour. Sometimes, I don't manage to complete the task at all.
Yeah, and for me at least there is often an element of PTSD from childhood and early adulthood trauma which guides these daydreams, and it honestly sounds like the case for the author here, if I had to wager a guess I'd assume most of these daydreams are rooted in either some kind of direct trauma, or a some desire which is propelled by a hidden underlying trauma.
> For clarity, it's important to underline that MD-affected individuals can clearly differentiate between reality and daydreams.
Unfortunately, my experience has been that trying to relate the experience of compulsive daydreaming or other extreme facets of ADHD only come across as unhinged to others, especially when you mention things like the radio in your brain you just cannot turn off which interrupts every other thought, or how you might randomly laugh or respond out loud to an imagined conversation in your head.
For my part, I am a lifelong lucid dreamer with the ability to modify my dreams, and also suffer from frequent sleep paralysis. In general I have had extreme insomnia my entire life, which leads to a false sort of narcolepsy throughout the day. Last night I got maybe an hour of sleep in total, 10 minute increments followed by an hour of tossing and turning in between. I would be surprised if these things are not all related.
Stress also definitely seems to affect this condition. This past week has been immensely stressful and I spent several hours today on my floor just totally in another world.
by polynomial on 7/28/23, 1:17 AM
by treeman79 on 7/27/23, 2:01 AM
I’m probably 20x faster since it stops the day dreaming.
by barrysteve on 7/26/23, 3:18 PM
We don't do any of that anymore. It has helped me to study the effects of electronics on the nervous system. Many of our automatic behaviours can be supercharged by electronics.