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Ask HN: How do you share technical things with your non-technical spouse?

by massung on 1/18/23, 5:41 PM with 2 comments

I'm mostly thinking about "where the bodies are buried" things you would want your spouse to be able to easily find and access in the event of a sudden departure from this world: banking passwords, life insurance, 401k, stock options, etc.

My wife is one to quickly stop any conversation along the lines of "if I were to die..." and go into full ostrich mode. We currently use a family 1password account where all the important items are in a shared vault, but this is only the tip of the iceberg.

I'm curious what others do? Do you just have a typed up page w/ a set of instructions somewhere or do you just have a will + lawyer that has it all at-the-ready and a phone # for your spouse to call?

  • by thensome on 1/18/23, 8:27 PM

    Written instructions and lawyer are both good. Depending how technical it is, how private it is, and how comfortable your spouse is with doing tech stuff by reading instructions, you might want to have a designated person to help your spouse.

    My partner is dyslexic and computers are one of her triggers for anxiety, so I'm planning to write up instructions for her along with my mom or sister, bc i know she already has a hard enough time technologically even with me not being dead. I don't need her crying and throwing the computer on the ground after i die bc she put the wrong password in 5 times and got locked out. It's not that she isn't smart enough, i just think it's not ideal for her to be trying to parse my tech stuff in what is already a potentially traumatic situation.

  • by logicalmonster on 1/18/23, 5:47 PM

    I imagine that a will + lawyer in a firm is the safest go-to strategy for this, but I'd think having a set of notes/instructions in a safe-deposit box or secure home safe might also suffice.