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Ask HN: Parents: Best screen-time limiting software?

by hazard on 12/11/22, 8:44 PM with 24 comments

• by lencastre on 12/11/22, 9:56 PM

  The best advice is no blocking, open and frank conversation, showing interest for what they are watching, and being available when they see something they don’t understand.

  Every child is different, some will be more addicted to the internet but in different levels and in different ways. And kids are smart, and will find ways to get what they want outside your monitoring.

  To guide (not force) them to seek interesting YouTube channels, can be very rewarding, and even healthy. Develop their curiosity and be ready to explain.

  In the extreme of blocking and over protection may have the opposite results and resentment.

  All this is easier said than done.

  Full disclosure: pi-hole, iOS screen time, and Microsoft family safety

• by softwaredoug on 12/12/22, 3:18 PM

  Eventually, kids need to manage their own screentime.

  It's going to be an important skill for them as an adult to self manage. Further, we don't want to apply shame/guilt to screentime just because it's screen time. There's such a huge range of activities that involve a screen. I used to think YouTube was the lowest bar of screen time, but there is generally so much deep, informational content that kids love (like History Oversimplified). So many creative activities involve a screen. And frankly it's a primary form of social interaction for older kids.

  What can you do?

  One thing is model better behavior as adults. As two WFH parents, this is really really hard. It means not being on screens all the time as adults. I've found if you show interest in things, your kids will too. So setting up activities you do together that don't involve screens is crucial. And doing activities BY YOURSELF that don't involve screens is crucial if you want your kids to do activities by themselves without screens.

• by master_crab on 12/11/22, 9:12 PM

  Unfortunately/fortunately (depending on your relationship with Apple) iOS is probably the best “general-purpose” OS for limiting screen time. I’m sure there are a lot of in-app tools you can use in android, but nothing for the entire ecosystem

  (conversely those in-app controls notoriously make it difficult to unify controls in iOS as well)

• by brntsllvn on 12/11/22, 8:55 PM

  This might help?

  https://ubuntuhandbook.org/index.php/2021/11/time-limits-for...

  I use a physical kitchen eggtimer to signal to my son it's time for a break. I joke that the eggtimer is compatible with all operating systems, has less setup and maintenance than any (let's be honest) linux application and generally forces me to get out of my chair to turn it off. It's simple, but it works.

• by ycdavidsmith on 12/11/22, 10:52 PM

  I use pihole running on our household synology nas. Kids devices are in a group, there’s a rule that blocks all DNS lookups. Kids are trained to set timers, and I set one too, and when the timer goes off, I pull out my phone and click the single button that turns off their DNS. There are exceptions for Kahn Academy, Wikipedia, Prodigy Software; maybe will add more as kids age. Been very happy with this setup. And I’ll be so proud when they learn to bypass it.

• by fillskills on 12/11/22, 9:10 PM

  You might want to consider something like the Purple Firewalla device that allows to have parental control across your home network. Though kids can always turn off wifi and get around. Link: https://firewalla.com/products/firewalla-purple

• by willcipriano on 12/11/22, 11:28 PM

  My approach with my almost 4 year old is to not limit a particular technology but instead limit content. For example she's getting a tablet for Christmas but it's set up to only let her read books.

  You might have let the cat out of the bag too early but I wouldn't have let her know that her old laptop can even do YouTube, or the Lego website, and instead gave her wikipedia and few other sources of content (PBS maybe?) that is educational and fun but not so fun that she gets lost in it forever. We can watch TV and videos on the TV like a family, I'd set up a laptop for other purposes and only after her other obligations have been met.

• by nvln on 12/12/22, 12:30 AM

  Suggestion based on our parenting results, YMMV:

  1. Enforced limits are adversarial.

  2. Conversations around how the internet/devices etc are fantastic while fraught with a million pitfalls may seem too much for a 9yo to handle, but you might be surprised if you try.

  3. In general, having healthier alternatives and some timely reminders work great. For example: If he is spending hours browsing the lego website, perhaps he'd love to try out a large lego project.

  4. Teens and pre-teens right now will inhabit a world that is over-reactive to online stimuli. Being hygienic / responsible about the online world and screen time is an important skill to cultivate.

• by sorokod on 12/11/22, 9:51 PM

  That should be your responsibility mate.

  Use a timer if you need one, five min before it rings let your offspring know (no one likes to be interrupted in the middle), once the time is up that is it.

• by rawgabbit on 12/11/22, 10:55 PM

  If you have a Google Router, you can set up "family wifi" and schedule when your son should be doing his homework instead of being online. https://support.google.com/googlenest/answer/7535858#schedul...

• by kuahyeow on 12/12/22, 12:47 AM

  It is most likely counter-productive, if said software is imposed upon. Best case scenario, you raise a hacker who works around it.

  If necessary, as others have alluded to, a global timer is best.

• by jasong on 12/11/22, 11:07 PM

  NextDNS can be a viable option with their “Recreation Time” feature. Overall it seems like DNS is the right place to implement this cross platform.

• by 10g1k on 12/11/22, 9:29 PM

  Best screen time limiting software: parenting.