by amyamyamy2 on 12/8/22, 7:01 PM with 273 comments
by fullshark on 12/8/22, 9:13 PM
by saraton1n on 12/8/22, 9:10 PM
Sometimes I get a little jealous because I don't have any heart-connection to any place. Most of the friends I regularly talk to are people I've met within the last 5 years, and I still don't have any still-standing friendships from the time before my dad retired.
But also, I cannot imagine that life, nor do I know if I really want to. Moving around so much gave me such a wide array of interests and cultural knowledge about places in and outside of the US. I think the benefits of that well-rounded background outweigh whatever pangs of sadness I get occasionally about not really feeling like I have a homeland.
by Yhippa on 12/8/22, 9:55 PM
The flip side is that being able to have family help out easily when our kid is sick. Also I have friends who stayed back home (the ratio matching this article title pretty closely) and they have barbecues together, can hang out on a random night around a fire pit, watch movies in their backyard, and other fun things. About planting roots and settling down.
I'm really torn about these two ways of going about it. There's something very comforting about setting down roots and having a solid network of friends and family. The flip side is that you're probably leaving a lot of opportunity on the table. The history of success in America seems to lean towards being nomadic.
by irrational on 12/8/22, 8:51 PM
Though, I remember that one of my brothers once lived in Pennsylvania and he met 2 women who had never left their county and were amazed that he lived in so many other places and wondered out loud if he had been scared to live in places other than where he lived right then in PA. The mind set that other places are scary to live in is so foreign to me.
by maurits on 12/8/22, 10:17 PM
Sometimes I feel like an enlightened citizen moving about. Sometimes I feel like I'm perpetually living in an airport. To quote fight-club, single serving friends and nothing ever stays.
Which is to say, i did me, but i don't see anything wrong at all with staying put.
by JumpinJack_Cash on 12/8/22, 10:13 PM
Each and everyone of us has 150 people in their circle of acquaintances . And 90% of our happiness depends on the quality of our relationship with the top 10 people in such list.
Similarly with the external enviornment. 90% of our happiness depends on the conditions of the external enviornment in a radius of 300 yds.
It's very easy to be blinded by the lights of NYC or Hollywood, but those megalopolis are incredibly big and again humans are so small.
A good setup in Albuquerque or Salt Lake City beats a mediocre setup in NYC or LA every day of the week.
Sure the Empire State Building is nice to look at,but it gets old fast, especially while you see it in passing while on your way to be screamed at by your boss at your second job that you had to take because you can't make the rent.
Given how small humans are, the ideal setup can be everywhere except for maybe Somalia or Congo. But even then if you are the undisputed king of Somalia, that's much better than being an Investment Banker in NYC. Despite the fact that a block in NYC generates more GDP than the entire country of Somalia,the claim of the king on such small GDP is almost total, whereas an investment banker has zero claim on the GDP being produced in a block in NYC, he has zero claim on anything period.
I think it was Julius Caesar who said: "I would rather be first in a little village than second in Rome".
by user3939382 on 12/8/22, 9:11 PM
There's a countervailing factor which is that more earnings and economic output arise from jobs in urban areas, which historically can only happen if some members relocate.
Hopefully the trend towards remote work helps alleviate this conflict.
by bombcar on 12/8/22, 8:45 PM
That's not surprising, especially with how many college graduates move home now.
I wouldn't be surprised if a substantial amount of the remainder stay near where they colleged.
by perardi on 12/8/22, 8:58 PM
Living 10 miles away from where you grew up around Chicago can put you in a total different socioeconomic level of suburb.
by cassonmars on 12/8/22, 10:03 PM
by cletus on 12/8/22, 9:43 PM
My great-grandfather (who died long before I was born) was a fairly extreme example of this. Shortly before WWI he decided to jump on a boat in Germany and immigrate to Australia (coming originally from the Baltic states). It seems like a fortuitous time to leave Europe.
I have a hard time wrapping my mind around that. His brother did basically the same thing (although in his case he was partly motivated by escaping getting conscripted into the Army). His story is fascinating too. A book was even written about it. He actually found an abandoned boat, fixed it up, made his own instruments and sailed to America in the 1930s across the Pacific Ocean because he always wanted to visit America.
I think about that and wonder what is it about some people who seem to be constantly restless while others seem content to staying pretty much exactly where they were born. I don't really understand that mindset but in some ways I envy it.
One of the most culturally identifiable songs to Australians is a song from the 1970s called Khe Sanh by a band named Cold Chisel. It's quite literally about a Vietnam vet with PTSD. it has a verse that goes like this:
And I've traveled 'round the world from year to year
And each one found me aimless, one more year the worse for wear
And I've been back to Southeast Asia, and the answer sure ain't there
But I'm drifting north, to check things out again, yes, I am
I think about that too.by keewee7 on 12/8/22, 9:45 PM
by nerdjon on 12/8/22, 9:26 PM
I purposefully graduated early from highschool (1 semester less and it only worked because of where my birthday was) to move 853 miles from where I grew up to where I currently live. My partner did a similar move (before we met).
When I talk to most of my friends it is a similar story.
I just can't imagine not wanting to explore a new area and have distance from your parents. I love my parents, we talk a couple times a week, but I don't need them physically close to me. (last couple years being the exception for obvious reasons).
Maybe this is because I am gay and I needed out of the south (as are many of my friends), I also wanted to move to an urban city like so many in my generation.
This just seems insane for me to think about.
by occamschainsaw on 12/8/22, 10:50 PM
Does anybody who is further along on the journey have any advice? How did you make this decision?
by rr888 on 12/8/22, 9:05 PM
by theonemind on 12/8/22, 9:36 PM
Like, maybe we just shouldn't have crappy places that people need to flee, by putting roots in the community and making it a place to be.
by dibt on 12/8/22, 9:49 PM
"Childhood locations are measured at age 16 and locations in young adulthood are measured at age 26."
"By linking young adults to their parents, we can see that this migration is primarily driven by individuals who grew up in affluent families."
It's not all young adults, just a specific demographic we would expect to move away farther from home.
Many people in this thread are using this to confirm their bias that it says something about the young adults. The title is doing more harm than good.
by aidenn0 on 12/9/22, 5:45 AM
People don't move. We like to talk about FOMO, but fear of making major changes is much bigger.
by emodendroket on 12/8/22, 8:52 PM
by timerol on 12/8/22, 11:37 PM
I'd like to make bold, sweeping claims about which is better, but I don't have any. I've moved the most, and because of that make the highest salary of any of my siblings. (The other sibling who moved is likely second, but possibly not due to being younger in their career.) Because of my location it's going to be hard to be a good uncle to my first niece, due in January. There are definite trade-offs involved in moving.
I moved back in with my parents during the pandemic to provide support for some health issues, since I had the ability work remote easily during that time. It was great to be back local for that time, though there were obviously some confounding factors due to the personal and societal health issues in 2020.
by karaterobot on 12/9/22, 12:05 AM
by mlsu on 12/9/22, 1:36 AM
Of course, this is because housing is more expensive than it has ever been. It costs too much damn money to move, even if economic opportunity is better than it used to be.
A lot of ink being spilled in this thread about non-mobile people being bitter about the lack of opportunity in their hometown. That may be part of it, but I think the far larger and more important part is that it is too fucking expensive for them to move! In large part because of all of the people who did move away and got their fancy degrees and then financialized the whole economy so badly.
by e63f67dd-065b on 12/8/22, 11:30 PM
by egberts1 on 12/9/22, 5:45 AM
All of us has been to at least 7 different states/countries, me almost 12! Even "towed" our elders with us, and they love it too.
Cannot imagine being in a one-town ... forever.
Always seeking different cultures.
We must be explorers!
by kitsunesoba on 12/8/22, 9:34 PM
With remote work being more common now I could probably move back, but that would carry some amount of risk as long as I'm working for another company rather than running a business of my own. Where I live now has a decent balance between locally available jobs and cost of living which is a bit scary to give up.
by Hasz on 12/8/22, 10:54 PM
I have traveled to most US states and about a dozen countries, and wouldn't trade my home for any of them. The structural advantages (family, friends, regional knowledge, activities) are tremendous. If you are planning to have children, having parents/relatives around to share in the childcare is an enormous financial advantage.
by jchanimal on 12/8/22, 9:20 PM
by layman51 on 12/8/22, 10:11 PM
by WheelsAtLarge on 12/8/22, 9:04 PM
by insane_dreamer on 12/8/22, 9:32 PM
by crooked-v on 12/8/22, 9:54 PM
by Finnucane on 12/8/22, 10:17 PM
by atlgator on 12/8/22, 9:21 PM
by aftbit on 12/8/22, 9:37 PM
by fdsfdxfvcx on 12/8/22, 9:04 PM
by lo_zamoyski on 12/8/22, 11:49 PM
I would say this:
- Moving around isn't for everyone.
- There is a tinge of oikophobia that's common in much of the West today that makes the thought of caring for and willing the genuine good of your own people frightening to many, inconvenient, and for some reason synonymous with chauvinism or some weird exclusivity that construes benevolence as "either/or" instead of in subsidiarian terms. Soon, the mere general prioritization of the good of one's own family members (a duty) will come off as "not inclusive" and "inequitable".
- Statistically, there is a certain healthy amount of average migration of certain kinds (the specifics will vary). Some spice enhances the flavor of a soup, but too little leaves it bland, and too much overpowers it.
- Travel and living elsewhere can help deprovincialize the mind, but do not guarantee it.
- Social networks and social order are important. Note the principle of subsidiary. A human being typically grows up in a family that is itself nwsted within an extended family and a community and so on, like layers of an onion. People typically become alienated when removed from them.
- As people get older, it becomes more common to settle down and commit oneself to the good of some particular community (original or adopted) instead of spending one's life drifting anonymously.
- One of the big incentives behind traveling or living in different places is to learn about other cultures. But if everyone were moving around, no local culture would ever have the chance to develop because locality requires continuity and a stable, sustaining local population, i.e., a true society. Places with very high rates of inward and outward migration tend to be less distinctive and tend to resemble other hubs of the same kind with which they likely swap inhabitants. If that's what attracts you, then your travelling or moving around isn't motived by a desire to learn about other cultures so much as a desire for a change of scenery while maintaining a more or less consistent, homogenous cultural "experience" globally. It's like being an American who goes on vacation and never talks to the locals, only other Americans in the hotel, or one who wants the "locals" to be like Americans.
- There is, of course, a difference between frequent moving and living more than 10 miles away from where you grew up.
I attach moral judgement to neither "remaining in the area" nor "living far away" nor even "moving frequently". These are quite personal matters per se.
by Ekaros on 12/9/22, 9:42 AM
by pcthrowaway on 12/8/22, 10:18 PM
by cwmoore on 12/8/22, 8:55 PM
by cpsns on 12/8/22, 8:54 PM
by kylehotchkiss on 12/9/22, 5:00 AM
by TedShiller on 12/8/22, 10:26 PM
by amelius on 12/8/22, 9:25 PM
by ifightcrime on 12/8/22, 8:51 PM
by thepangolino on 12/8/22, 8:18 PM