from Hacker News

Bridesmaids go professional

by BayAreaEscapee on 7/20/22, 2:02 PM with 46 comments

• by boomboomsubban on 7/20/22, 3:10 PM

  My first thought is that the pictures would be super awkward in ten years, but I think that's already the case when looking at many people's bridesmaids and groomsmen.

  Seeing a stranger in the picture is probably less awkward than the person who scammed you out of a bunch of money or broke up with your siblimg.

• by devchix on 7/20/22, 5:59 PM

  I've read that rent-a-family is a normalized service in Japan, I don't know if that's a common rental there.

  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rental_family_service

  This makes me think that humans don't crave actual emotional ties and connection as much as the appearance of one. That is, they are not paying for love and kinship, just the ritual of it, which maybe all we have to go on. "There's no such thing as love, only proof of love."

  Come to think of it, I think there's an east Asian tradition of hiring mourners to follow the funeral procession of the deceased, and the expected crying and expressions of grief.

  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Professional_mourning

• by blamazon on 7/20/22, 3:05 PM

  I like the end of the article:

  > Xie met her current boyfriend at a wedding, where they were working as a professional bridesmaid and best man. He’s promised to make her the happiest bride. “We will hire 24 groomsmen and bridesmaids,” Xie told Sixth Tone.

• by bewaretheirs on 7/20/22, 5:19 PM

  Life imitates Gilbert & Sullivan?

  Gilbert & Sullivan's "Ruddigore" (1887), a comic parody of Victorian melodrama, was set in "the only village in the world that possesses an endowed corps of professional bridesmaids who are bound to be on duty every day from ten to four ...".

• by AuryGlenz on 7/20/22, 3:12 PM

  I wonder how looks other than height affect the job. You probably don’t want your bridesmaids to be prettier than you, but you also want them to look good for photos. That’s a fine line for most of the population.

• by Taylor_OD on 7/20/22, 3:20 PM

  I'm in a wedding soon where the groom basically sent all the groomsmen a kind of odd message saying here is what you are responsible for doing. I think it was intended as being kind of funny but none of us know each other and this isnt someone I'm exceptionally close with anymore.

  It feels like I just got signed up to do work. I could see how this could easily be a job.

• by spyspy on 7/20/22, 6:44 PM

  As someone who recently got married I can tell you that anyone in the wedding party who hasn't been married is useless. Total dead weight at best and counterproductive, self-centered a*holes at worst (sorry the venue made you get a covid test Greg). But the ones that have are worth their weight in gold. The behavior, thoughtfulness, and even the toasts are night and day.

  For context we really had 6 wedding coordinators the day of (venue coordinator, catering coordinator, MC, actual day-of coordinator + 2 assistants), to give you an idea of how many people are running things behind the scenes. If I had to do it all again I can't say I wouldn't hot swap out some of the wedding party for professionals.

• by lancesells on 7/20/22, 2:37 PM

  Humanity is such a unique and varied place. I don't know anything about Chinese culture but this could easily be the basis of a romantic comedy in America.

• by omoikane on 7/20/22, 4:36 PM

  Searching for "professional bridesmaid" suggests this is not a new industry.

  Related: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Professional_mourning

• by RcouF1uZ4gsC on 7/20/22, 2:35 PM

  I wonder how much the one child policy has had an effect in making this type of industry prevalent in China.

  With a one-child policy, the first generation you have no siblings. The next generation, you have no cousins.

  Add to that the sex selection of many families choosing to have a son over a daughter as their one child, and you end up in this situation.

• by danans on 7/20/22, 5:42 PM

  Assuming bridesmaids/groomsmen would otherwise be selected from the respective sides' extended relations of similar age, this isn't surprising considering the impact of both the one child policy and the urbanization of China, which would limit the number of relatives available.

  In many cultures, wedding ceremonies themselves (not the parties and receptions) are mostly an in-family thing, so you wouldn't have friends, however close, as attendants to the bride and groom.

  Lacking relatives, it might be easier to just hire these actors. It's a bit odd to be taking photos with them, but perhaps just having a lot of people in your wedding photos has cultural currency.

• by kmcnoble on 7/21/22, 1:11 PM

  Personally I don’t know why someone would want a random person in their wedding and photos. I’d rather have no one than have someone random stand with you on my day and in all of my pictures to look back on. Bridesmaids are meant to be close friends and family that you could not do the day without and mean a lot to you. If they couldn’t come I wouldn’t substitute them.

  However having been in over 9 weddings myself I wouldn’t hate the hustle to have this side gig as I can probably can be a professional bridesmaid at this point.

• by g5095 on 7/20/22, 4:14 PM

  Came looking for a Golang article :/

• by jdalgetty on 7/20/22, 3:13 PM

  "A bridesmaid needs to be unmarried" - Interesting...

• by gadders on 7/20/22, 5:06 PM

  If anyone thinks they will get cultural capital by having a middle-aged white dude as a groomsman/best man hit me up :-)

• by hunglee2 on 7/20/22, 4:05 PM

  given that every bride is obviously unique, being a professional wedding ringer might actually be a viable job for a lot of people, as the qualifying criteria is going to change every time. One of those where maybe we should all sign up on the off chance we get called up - food, party and get paid for it? Deal!

• by analyst74 on 7/20/22, 3:47 PM

  So the wedding ringer was a true story!