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Ask HN: Overthinking in personal life and Thinking as a job

by L0in on 6/20/22, 9:31 PM with 7 comments

Since my new cycle of anxiety and depression over the last few months i started going to therapy again. Every therapist i've gone thus far said i theorize and overthink a lot, and something that's missing from my life is practicality. «Don't think, act. Don't theorize about a plan. Just start.».

And so i've started thinking...

I study CS, i want to work in security, i really like and want to learn algorithmic thinking and problem solving, researching, and imagine, but at the same time my mind's thought spiral can disable me. (I use the phrase "thought spiral" because i feel it's the best description, but i don't believe i have, and never been diagnosed with OCD.)

How do i balance my desire for a way of life that, at the same time, creates my problems?

  • by agent008t on 6/21/22, 12:39 PM

    Acting without thinking does not sound like a recipe for a good life.

    What exactly is the problem? Is it that you ruminate, thinking in circles, instead of thinking productively?

    Try writing down the problems you are ruminating about. Then write down your thoughts on how to solve them. Then write down the solution, even if the solution is that there is no solution and you should leave the problem aside for a specific amount of time. Then practice mindfulness, so that you very quickly become aware when you start to ruminate on problems you have either already solved or decided to put away, and not feed the rumination.

  • by octokatt on 6/20/22, 10:00 PM

    First, you don't want a way of life that creates problems, so take a step back.

    If you're overthinking things, stop thinking. Go do something physical, ideally something physically exhausting, until your brain resets. Gym time, hiking, woodworking, yard work, physical therapy exercises, anything. Schedule the time each week doing something physical that ideally gives you a sense of accomplishment.

    Balance the things you love with the things that create the life you want, and steer your brain towards iterating on understanding that balance. Then stop thinking and take committed action based on your results.

    Committed action therapy may be something worth discussing with a therapist, but YMMV, and I am an internet stranger.

  • by diego on 6/20/22, 9:39 PM

    There are certain kinds of problems that don't allow you to overthink. If you are on a tight deadline and you need to get something done (e.g. fix a bug, add a feature) then the situation forces you to make _a_ decision and move on. You can only overthink when you don't have hard deadlines. So as an exercise, try to pick challenges that have deadlines (ideally external to you). It helps to work with other people, take up on some responsibility and commit to delivering.

  • by michepriest on 6/21/22, 8:00 AM

    I’d recommend getting tested for things like OCD, ADHD, etc. If you get some kind of diagnosis you can work with your employer to make accommodations so work with you when you spiral. A compassionate manager will see the benefits of the way your mind works and can help you navigate it when it goes too far. Work with a professional to give you tools and strategies to manage

  • by aristofun on 6/21/22, 4:25 AM

    If it’s just about your habits and not some deeper disorder — you need to push yourself in the context where you’d stop thinking and learn new patterns.

    Like demanding sport activities, team sport preferably. Some outdoors survival bootcamp etc.

  • by barrysteve on 6/20/22, 10:20 PM

    Thoughts and knowledge 'cash out' in the body. Turn away from prioritizing thoughts that create too many 'research questions'. Envision some thoughts that cash out in bodily movement. Movement is life.