from Hacker News

Ask HN: How to Manage Group Texts?

by WhompingWindows on 6/14/22, 3:56 PM with 2 comments

I'm in about 20-30 group texts on both Signal and Messenger. Some of them I don't even want to be in, others are family/friends mega groups, and then there's the huge permutation/combination of all the different friend and family combinations.

How do you all keep track of these? How do you manage them so they don't waste your attention?

  • by vicentereig on 6/14/22, 4:26 PM

    Long story, short: I don't keep track of them.

    I felt the need to protect myself from these sources of FOMO.

    When it is necessary to set up a group chat, I like them short-lived. You organize an event with friends. The event is over. I delete the chat for all. Sometimes I lack the ability to do so. So I just leave, usually leaving a see-you-soon note. You know, ruthlessly prioritizing where I am spending my attention, while not acting like a d*ck.

    I keep less than a handful of evergreen group chats with family and close friends. All of them with notifications on mute. No read, played, delivered ticks as well. If I need confirmation I'll just call them on the phone!

    I leave notifications on for a few folks like my dad. He can get my attention anytime, anywhere. A good old phone call will definitely catch my attention too.

    In return, I get to spend real good quality time, when they are not around, with my partner, family, close friends, and acquaintances. And hopefully they do too. :)

  • by crobertsbmw on 6/14/22, 4:03 PM

    Can you not unsubscribe from the ones you don’t care about? And, with iOS at least, you should be able to disable or group notifications to only show up once a day. Does this not solve your problem enough?