by sussexby on 4/5/22, 8:00 PM with 16 comments
In recent years I’ve grown weary of working for large companies and have longingly looked at taking up either bigger roles in smaller firms or launching something myself.
I am, however, burdened with imposter syndrome and seemingly always tending towards IC roles where I can hide away.
I have technical knowledge. I’m a seller. I’ve digested plenty of books on the intersection between business, innovation, technology, and organisational psychology. I have recruiters calling me daily. And I’ve worked with some of the biggest companies on the planet but I cannot overcome the feeling that I shouldn’t be there.
When I’ve tried to push myself above the parapet in more personal-centric pursuits (e.g. posting to social media to develop my presence, or launching internal campaigns) I feel physically sick and often succumb to feelings of anxiety where I’ll either stop working on something or sabotage it. At current I find this is limiting my progress and my ambition of taking on positions of leadership.
So, HN, my question more specifically is - how do you combat imposter syndrome, and are there any techniques that you’ve used to reduce it’s impact?
by charles_f on 4/6/22, 3:44 AM
2) at some point you start realizing that you are not the imposter, everyone is mediocre and just ignores it. You have been blessed with not being oblivious with your shortcomings, and even if you are doubting things you should not, even if it might seem like a curse, you're an improving human thanks to that.
3) when I freak out about whether I'm doing my job, at some point I usually realize that I am freaking out about whether I'm doing my job. When this happens, I tell myself: stop freaking out about whether you're doing your job and just do your f-ing job. It seems like you are very conscious about that so this might help
3.b) this is one of "the four agreements" which might help you: "always do your best". If you did your best, by definition there is nothing more you could have done. And therefore, no grudge you can hold unto yourself. After all, you did your best! What more can someone ask?
4) people are way, way more tolerant to failure than we give them credit for. I have been with companies that have very high standards and even there, screwing up is accepted as a fact of life as long as you learn from it. Just assume you're allowed to fail, with the current market, worst case scenario this will help you get another job in a better company
5) saw a tweet the other day of someone who changed their perspective from "I'm an imposter" to "of course I don't know what I'm doing, and I'm the freaking best con artist there is! I'm just faking all of it and no one has any idea,I'm so good at it!". Maybe that helps, at least it made me laugh.
by casion on 4/5/22, 8:52 PM
Nobody is like that.
Even the most competent of people make mistakes, have doubts, change their mind, get anxious before presentations etc...
If you are providing sufficient value in your context then great! Keep it up. If you're not sure then ask for concrete feedback on specific tasks occasionally.
However, in my experience in tech education and management is that "Imposter Syndrome" is rooted deeply in the idea that other people have some mythical level of competency and lack of doubt which puts your capabilities into question.
They do not, and you do not.
by Sohcahtoa82 on 4/5/22, 8:32 PM
by simonblack on 4/5/22, 10:22 PM
As a person develops and moves up the scale he reaches the level of 'expert'. However, the 'new expert' doesn't have the wealth of knowledge and/or experience that an 'old expert' has. That makes them feel unworthy of their position. As the 'new expert' gains more and more knowledge and experience, that 'Imposter Syndrome' will fade away.
I would estimate that 99.999% of us have experienced 'Imposter Syndome' at some point in our lives.
by sdevonoes on 4/6/22, 5:07 PM
Is this related to the Imposter Syndrome? Perhaps, simply put, you just don't like posting on social media or launching internal campaigns? I don't like talking in public because I always think that what I have to say is of little importance, but I don't think that's "Imposter Syndrome", it's just that I don't like to talk in public.
by doktorhladnjak on 4/6/22, 2:26 AM
It does raise the second question though: why are you pushing yourself to be something you seem to not enjoy at all?
> I feel physically sick and often succumb to feelings of anxiety
This sounds pretty miserable. Are you sure these are the right roles for you to target?
by Randolf_Scott on 4/6/22, 3:52 PM
by jaquer_1 on 4/6/22, 12:20 AM
by DeadMouseFive on 4/5/22, 11:02 PM
by jppope on 4/5/22, 8:44 PM
- evaluate yourself against an objective rubric => medium has one (here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1EO-Dbsayn8Nz9Ii3MKcwRbt-EIJ2MjQdpoyhh0tBdZk/edit#gid=2049640133), but you can build your own and get feedback
- list out your accomplishments, things you've done that you take pride in. compare these skills/accomplishments against what a qualified candidate for that role would have have
- Ask your former employers or managers about your strengths and how they would level you
- Read the army doctrine of leadership. Understand how leadership works in large organizations, understand what poor, good, and great performance is.
by alucardo on 4/5/22, 8:25 PM
by ComradePhil on 4/5/22, 8:26 PM
Do you put up a face to present to a certain audience? If yes, you're an imposter. There is no "syndrome", "disorder" or "chemical imbalance". You feel like an imposter because you know deep down that you are being one.
Maybe you have to hype up your image to compete in the market because everyone else also does the same. That does not mean you are not an imposter. It just means everyone is.
Do you feel like an imposter when you are with your dog or your child or a very close friend or relative? If no, you don't have "imposter syndrome".
Just stop being an imposter and you will stop feeling like one. Not practical for you to do that? That's fine. Maybe you do need to put up a face to survive or thrive. Just embrace it.