from Hacker News

Being OK with not being extraordinary

by tmatthe on 8/24/20, 3:53 PM with 382 comments

by umvi on 8/24/20, 4:37 PM
> Climbing to a higher vantage point can also unlock new forms of extraordinary that you might have never noticed before.
I read an article once about how the amount of work to get into the top tier in a single area is astronomical, but the amount of work to become top tier in a combination of 2-3 fields is attainable by almost anyone.
For example, becoming a top tier statistician is hard. But becoming a top tier statistician/programmer is easier. In other words, if you can get to a state where you know more statistics than your average programmer and more programming than your average statistician, then suddenly you are an above-average programmer/statistician. Keep improving those two skills and you may start to "unlock new forms of extraordinary". Or maybe you are a music teacher, and also pretty good at programming, and so you can make extraordinary music teaching software that is way better than the competition's because you understand the nuances of music teaching intimately enough that you capture them clearly in software requirements. Or maybe you are pretty good at art, pretty good at music composition, pretty good at programming, pretty good at story telling (not necessarily top tier in any one category though)... and you combine all of those skills to single-handedly create a game that by many measures is extraordinary[0][1].
Something like that. Anyway, the point being, you may not be extraordinary in any one field, but it isn't too hard to achieve extraordinary things due to a combination of skills in multiple fields if you work at it.
[0] https://undertale.com/
[1] https://www.cavestory.org/
by thelean12 on 8/24/20, 6:11 PM
There are lots of people reacting to the extraordinary with "inspiration", "disappointment", and "jealousy".
I'd say none of these are as useful as reacting with curiosity. There's an endless amount to learn from the extraordinary in any field or sport or hobby. It's easy to write off the extraordinary as naturally talented or lucky or something else surface level. Most of the time it's anything but.
I play golf. It's a game that can be extraordinarily frustrating to beginners. It often takes years of hard work to just be moderately adequate at the game. Going into it with disappointment or jealousy of extraordinary golfers will quickly lead them to quit as they'll be way too stressed out to enjoy the game. Those who go into it with inspiration or admiration of those who are better won't be able to sustain it when the inspiration burns out.
Curiosity is the only emotion I've found that is sustainable. Endless curiosity as you try to figure out and piece together what makes someone good at what they do. It's an emotion that sustains because it's the only emotion that is useful both when you hit a bad shot and when you hit a good shot. It's useful both when you watch someone who is worse than you, and when you watch someone who is better than you.
by ErikAugust on 8/24/20, 4:55 PM
“Fall in love with some activity, and do it! Nobody ever figures out what life is all about, and it doesn't matter. Explore the world. Nearly everything is really interesting if you go into it deeply enough. Work as hard and as much as you want to on the things you like to do the best. Don't think about what you want to be, but what you want to do. Keep up some kind of a minimum with other things so that society doesn't stop you from doing anything at all.” ― Richard P. Feynman
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” - Teddy Roosevelt
To me, "extraordinary" is a state of being rather than doing. Don't worry about what you want to be, but just what you want to do. Do things and be alive in the experience, and stop worrying so much about how you stack up against others. You're all going to die, live while you can.
by rvn1045 on 8/24/20, 6:25 PM
The internet has made everyone feel inadequate as it's easy to compare yourself to people you see on the internet. Couple of things to keep in mind if your comparing yourself:
1. There aren't as many uber successful people out there as the internet makes it seem. It's far fewer than you think. Lets take a simple example of dudes who go to the gym and are strong. Instagram makes it seem like all dudes bench press 400 lbs and have a 6 pack. In my 15 years of going to the gym (ive been to several dozen all across the world) there are less than 5 people I've personally seen who've bench pressed even 300 lbs. Apply this to any field and it's going to be true.If you take programming for instance I'm yet to meet a person who's performing at the standard I had set for myself (become a 10x programmer).
2. Lots of people are really good at marketing themselves, which inflates the number of people you think are extraordinary.
There aren't that many people at the world class level, the internet makes it seem there are more of these than there are. Just relax and do the things you enjoy.
by pmohun on 8/24/20, 6:56 PM
I wrote this for myself when considering a big career move a few years ago:
It’s easy to focus on the next promotion or the completion of a big project that will elevate your career.
By succumbing to the natural instinct of mimicry, we rarely ask ourselves the question: are we climbing the right hill?
In this analogy, the hills represent any long-term goal: career, fulfillment, financial security. Our natural instinct is to walk upward, chasing the next promotion or job opportunity. However, we lose the virtue of randomness by doing this. If your only benchmark is the hill you’ve always known, you have no way to gauge its relative steepness. It’s a good way to reach a local maxima, but not necessarily the best long-term option.
Instead, I allow myself to explore other options, even if it seems “downhill”. For naturally ambitious people, it can seem downright impossible to avoid this instinct. It’s hard, and often feels unnatural. However, the perspective gained from these excursions improves my mental map and I’m able to learn what lies on other hills. Taking this mindset means letting go of the mimetic behavior that leads to jealousy or comparison.
After all, why should it matter if someone else is higher? Your peak is somewhere else entirely.
https://sundayscaries.substack.com/p/climbing-the-right-hill...
by thisistheend123 on 8/24/20, 6:23 PM
Maybe this is offtopic, but I made my peace with this kind of anxiety once I met, interacted and worked with people who were really very very good at what they do.
I let me ego go.
It's ok to be normal. And it's ok to get to learn from the masters.
I once read a O Henry short story where the three main characters are at different places in society financially and in terms of power. But they still found some meaning when they accidentally meet each other during the course of the story.
Their relative stature and standing in the world didn't affect what they thought of each other when they met.
It was kind of an uncanny, uplifting little story. Don't remember its name though.
by tomcam on 8/25/20, 5:52 AM
I’ve made well into eight figures by taking almost the opposite approach. As a kid, all I wanted to do was get the fuck out of my unsafe neighborhood and never go back. When I was young I read a lot of biographies of successful people. What I got out of it was that they just worked a lot harder than most, and failed more than most.
Later I observed that there were people dumber than I was with better jobs than I had, and I took that as a positive sign. It meant that just by working hard, I could get those jobs too.
And one thing reading all those biographies told me was that many of these ultra-accomplished people paid a heavy price, usually in their personal lives. I decided I would rather be a happy millionaire with a family than an unhappy billionaire with two or three ex-wives.
I taught myself how to program, took some writing classes in a junior college, and taught myself business and investing by doing dry runs on paper. The kinds of programming I did were fairly challenging, because as a person without a degree I knew I would have to work harder than people who had one. I also stuck to programming that I liked, but that also had a likely long commercial future.
Eventually I was able to parlay all of this into what this website calls a “lifestyle business“, one that has let me stay home and raise children while still earning a great living over the last few decades. I have hit a fair number of singles and doubles, plus a triple or two. At my age now I’m not going to make a billion, But I own a couple of houses outright, have a retirement fund that can help support very high medical bills for medically fragile family members, and I can take care of my handicapped kid until I die.
All of this came from keeping my expectations lower than the author’s. I was thinking not in terms of what I “should“ be able to accomplish, but what I could accomplish if I worked hard and smart.
by ARandomerDude on 8/24/20, 4:45 PM
> Extraordinary also comes in many forms, and its value does not have to be measured in terms of money.
Great point though underdeveloped in the article. Clocking out at 5 so you can spend time with a healthy, happy, well-adjusted, loving family is pretty extraordinary these days.
by neutronicus on 8/24/20, 4:53 PM
I appreciate what you wrote, OP - moderating my ambition is both essential to my mental health and an ongoing process. I do not exaggerate when I say that in my case I believe the stakes are life and death.
One thing that has helped me a lot to find peace here has been becoming a father. Culturally, it comes with a kind of license to finally just accept mediocrity which I find freeing. Bills are paid, I can watch my son grow up, doesn't matter than I'm not the best at anything.
by luplex on 8/24/20, 5:13 PM
Archive.org cache: http://web.archive.org/web/20200824155533/https://www.tiffan...
by SCAQTony on 8/24/20, 6:45 PM
Extraordinary is boring. If one wants to draw as good as Michelangelo Buonarroti, or play the alto sax technically as well as Charlie Parker, one has to put in the hours. Imagine only having one interest? Example: Michelangelo and Charlie practiced or executed their craft incessantly.
"In an interview with Paul Desmond, Parker said that he spent three to four years practicing up to 15 hours a day."
"If people knew how hard I worked to get my mastery, it wouldn’t seem so wonderful at all." ~ Michelangelo
I argue that one is more employable, more accomplished and has more opportunities if one is average, or above average, in five separate disciplines. Has more diverse friendships too.
by ZainRiz on 8/24/20, 5:25 PM
> creators can get just as much value out of creating their original content and connecting with like-minded people.
Strong resonance here. I recently became more prolific about blogging, and this was the mindset that helps me stay consistent. I find that the mere act of writing an essay helps me clarify my own thoughts, and the essay often changes in the process.
As a recent example, I started writing out about how I struggled and got over impostor syndrome. But while writing it I realized: wait, I never actually get over it. Rather, I learned how to use it to my advantage [1]
How to do that became the message of the article.
If my writing never brings fame, I won’t care. It helped me understand myself and it will help me better advise the people I care about
[1] https://www.zainrizvi.io/blog/the-impostors-advantage/
by aeturnum on 8/24/20, 11:27 PM
As I have gotten older, one of the things I have come to understand is that the people who are leading figures in fields of human effort are just wired differently. We might describe them as "devoting" their entire lives to those fields, but "devoting" isn't the right word. It's not that they "work harder" or "put in more hours," it's that they experience every thing in their lives through the prism of their "chosen" field. They can't help but think of physics or art or design when they encounter any thing. It's not rational or intentional exactly (though they certainly aren't trying to change themselves) - it's about being oriented towards something in a pure way. Even the idea of "choosing" a field is deceptive, because there is some level of natural inclination that's required to be influential at a high level.
What I mean is that I think people are barking up the wrong tree when they talk about "working towards being the best." We can all work harder, and I think we should all consider doing so, but no amount of working harder will let you see every experience as a lesson in physics. Those kinds of holistic engagement in a subject come from someplace other than exercises of self control and are, I think, probably pretty harmful to the overall well being of the person involved.
I'm happy that I can put work down at the end of the day, and the people in my life are happy that I can too.
by jennasys on 8/24/20, 5:05 PM
I agree with the premise here in general. There have certainly been times when I've wanted to accomplish something, but then I see someone else being exceptional at that task and I stop wanting to do it because I know I'll never be that good at it.
When you see someone doing something you do or want to do, and they are exceptional at it, it either becomes inspirational or discouraging based on just how extraordinary it is and how emotionally attached you are to the subject. If you are emotionally committed to it, seeing someone else doing it well will likely be inspirational. If not, you're more likely to give up before you even start.
by pgcj_poster on 8/24/20, 8:20 PM
If you're a 1 in 100 type, you've likely had feeling that because you're more capable than literally almost everyone, you should be achieving things more like the people you read about in books or online. But unless you've read 80 million biographies, those people are not 1 in a 100. They're more like 1 in million. And once you reach the truly great, like Einstein, then it's 1 in a billion (or more).
You are not 1 in a billion. You may very well be 1 in 100, though. And that's still pretty incredible. Take, for example the author of this article. She might think that she's not extraordinary because she's not an Einstein, or whatever. However, she works somewhere called "the Quantum Matter Institute" -- that's something that 99% of people probably could not accomplish. So honestly I would be surprised if most people who knew her didn't think that she was extraordinary.
by qrybam on 8/24/20, 8:05 PM
Personal anecdote - I became very good at one activity early on in life. This was at the expense of other things such as education and a social life. The dedication required to reach a high level of skill, and the journey overall was great fun and taught me a lot about what it takes to reach the top.
What impact has this had on me? It opened a lot of doors for me early on. Ultimately I faced a decision, do I pursue a single thing to its sharpest point, or do I widen my range and create my own category to become sharp in?
There is something deeply rewarding in being a master of one trade. But becoming a jack of all trades offers a different kind of reward which I feel is more sustainable (at least in my case).
I have a deep affinity towards people who have pushed the boundaries in some area of their life, and feel very lucky to have experienced the same.
Which path would I pick? Jack of all.
by lloyddobbler on 8/24/20, 5:14 PM
See also: The Infinite Game by Simon Sinek. Great read (based on a previous work, Finite and Infinite Games by James Carse) on the need to play on a different playing field than the one that supposedly has a 'winner' and a 'loser.' Applies to companies, individuals, organizations, relationships...you get the idea.
To beat a dead analogy, if you're climbing to reach the top 'ledge' you started out looking for, you might not start...or you might climb with such a singular focus that you miss another path that would take you off to the side and up another, higher route.
Edited for formatting.
by bradlys on 8/24/20, 6:13 PM
I think it's important to also reframe what extraordinary even means. Many people are comparing themselves to the most privileged of backgrounds - where they were at the top from birth and only had to get a bit higher. I'm considered extraordinary in comparison to the place I grew up - just because of my background and where I am now.
On top of this - I am wary of being singly great at something. Living in Silicon Valley has reinforced this hard. I'm obviously comparing myself (unfairly) to people who are incredibly well compensated, maybe with some bullshit job title, and so forth. I've learned that - usually - those people are fucking terrible at everything else but that one thing they do. (Sometimes I'm not even sure what that one they do good at is - kiss ass?) I'm talking really bad at everything else. They might be an excellent programmer and think up some fancy architecture or whatever - but they don't know how to install an app and follow some directions of their phone without some hand holding. Could they even build a computer from parts? Nah. Change oil in their car? It ain't happening in a million years. COOK!? Sorry - I only order out, my nanny cooks for the family, eat company food, or put pizza rolls in the oven. Take care of my kids and be an inspiring role model?! No - no, sorry, I didn't sign up for that... I had kids because I was bored after my second startup. Children aren't my passion!
Extraordinary usually requires compromise and I'm not one to compromise. I tend to look at things a bit like: I could be first place in one thing or 2nd in everything.
by jcadam on 8/24/20, 6:26 PM
I'm the most extraordinary software engineer in my office. I mean, it's my home office, but that still counts, right?
by EGreg on 8/24/20, 6:31 PM
Can we feel the same about our relationships?
Many people search for years for “the one” and an amazing connection, then settle for someone they can tolerate, and it turns out they have a good marriage and children and a lot of shared adventures. Looking back on it... would you say it’s better to have spent decades searching for Mr/Ms Right, or married the one right now you can make a life with?
by daxfohl on 8/25/20, 2:36 AM
I tried this for a few months after a few big projects didn't pan out. Tried forcing myself to focus only on the things in front of me, without allowing my mind to wander toward ideas for future grandeur. For me, that experience was horrible.
I've got to have something big in the pipeline in order to feel a purpose in life. Otherwise it is just a bunch of work with no point.
Maybe that's not the point that this article is trying to make. Maybe it's saying to be okay with not having already achieved greatness, or to be okay with the potential of never achieving greatness. Both of these are fine. Or to base your metric of greatness on someone else's who is unequivocally better at that measure than you are. You definitely don't want to do that. But I think it's a mistake to pigeonhole yourself as a person who absolutely cannot achieve greatness. You have to try.
by ChrisMarshallNY on 8/24/20, 9:13 PM
Thanks for sharing that.
In my experience, a lot of what we perceive as "extraordinary," is actually marketing. Some people are extraordinary self-promoters. It seems that every other person I see on LinkedIn announces that they are a "polymath."
Many of these folks are, in fact, really brilliant/creative/hard-working/whatever, but I have known folks that no one notices, that absolutely blow me away in their products and skills. No one notices them, because they don't stand around with megaphones.
They're too busy being extraordinary.
For me, I'm pretty good at what I do. Am I "extraordinary"? I don't really care. There's always some kid in a Hanoi Internet cafe that can shred my best, so I need to be happy with what I can do.
by TwelveNights on 8/24/20, 6:43 PM
Looking at extraordinary people can be both encouraging and disheartening. I've always wanted to practice drawing after seeing all the incredible things that extraordinary people can make. However, the more you dig into something, the more that chasm between you and the peak seems to widen.
The one point I appreciate about this article is how it points out that there are physical constraints that come with being extraordinary. With the example of drawing, reaching a higher level of understanding could be possible with more time dedication, though I personally may want to use my time for other purposes.
by chasd00 on 8/24/20, 6:30 PM
Given the massive variation and diversity in humanity, to have a problem with not being extraordinary is like having a problem with existence itself.
When I think of extraordinary people i think of names like DaVinci. I'm perfectly happy not being on that level, i would be forever miserable otherwise.
Maybe i lack the intelligence to see my own short comings but at 44 i'm pretty sure I am who I'm going to be. I feel pretty ok about it. I don't have a Porsche GT3 in the garage and my name isn't on/in any books but it turned out not having those things aren't that big of a problem.
by MaximumYComb on 8/24/20, 10:39 PM
I feel there is a common trait of extraordinary people that anyone can develop and it pays dividends. That trait is industriousness. When you listen to interviews from successful people like Elon Musk all the way through to Arnold Schwarzenegger, they all talk about working hard.
Terry Toa almost failed the general exams at Princeton due to slacking off, and it was a valuable lesson for him. I don't care how gifted you are, you won't reach the top without working harder than others.
by Animats on 8/24/20, 6:03 PM
We need to redefine extraordinary.
Or, if you can't win, move the finish line.
by anticsapp on 8/24/20, 5:40 PM
backup as the site is down: https://archive.vn/DGhBi
This tweet bubbled up this weekend and it touched me: https://twitter.com/ambernoelle/status/1297191195584663554
by mfer on 8/24/20, 4:55 PM
extraordinary is "Beyond what is ordinary or usual."
This word brings about three thoughts...
1. What is beyond ordinary? Who sets the direction? If it's more technical work, more creating, or more money... who sets that as a good or useful direction?
For example, a software developer who is ordinary as a developer but guides their children well could be extraordinary in that aspect. It may not make a list on the Internet but it is extremely valuable to people that (I assume) the software developer cares about.
Who is setting the direction for extraordinary we should care about?
2. Ordinary is normal. If everyone becomes extraordinary that because the new normal. The target is constantly moving.
3. Why does being extraordinary matter? Consider it for a moment. Should the goal to be contentment, happiness, or something else? Who is even setting the goal of being extraordinary anyway? Why would it make your (or my) life a good life?
by jackcosgrove on 8/25/20, 4:03 AM
> But real extraordinary is nothing like this. Yes, it's exciting, but it also comes with sacrifices, limitations, and constraints.
Being extraordinary is a public label, and with that comes a target on your back.
If your measures of success are internal you can be happy with your achievements as well as maintain some privacy.
by richard_g on 8/25/20, 4:53 PM
I used to struggle with this. It seemed like the first few steps of anything I could do would never measure up to these accomplishments that I saw from others.
Then I realized that even being willing to take those steps is extraordinary -- because it's not that common. Being willing to try and fail is extraordinary. Doing hard work without a guaranteed outcome is extraordinary. Realizing that you've been doing something ineffective and you need to change is extraordinary.
And if you consistently do at least some of those, then one day you may hit those extraordinary results when you least expect it. Even if you don't, you have had extraordinary experiences along the way. That's worth something.
by nserrino on 8/24/20, 5:10 PM
A fixation on being extraordinary tends to indicate too much self absorption and a lack of perspective. It seems like another antidote is focusing more on the impact you want to have on the world and those around you, even if no one ever knew about it.
by cmrdporcupine on 8/24/20, 11:01 PM
Just reminds me that it's perf deadline day @ Google. You know, the company with all the supposedly most extraordinary people.
Worst day (well, days) of the year. Even worse this year with the weird situation we're all in.
by api on 8/24/20, 10:17 PM
There are over 7 billion people on Earth. You aren't extraordinary, so you're going to have to get used to it. If you think you are you're probably either in a small pond or not paying attention.
by danielrk on 8/25/20, 12:18 AM
I am grateful that exceptionally capable people exist in the world. I find them incredibly motivating because their successes keep elevating the lower bound of collective human potential and set a known standard for what’s possible. I find that ignoring the bar for success (at whatever level one strives for) sets you up psychologically to justify mediocre efforts, when in fact most humans have incredible potential. I find that envy is a separate issue that can be managed by thinking carefully about choosing the right role models.
by kumarvvr on 8/25/20, 5:09 AM
There has to be a change in culture, where a sense of duty, persistance, consistency and reliability should be encouraged and taught, over being 'clever' or 'genius'.
Anyone can develop the former qualities, bit the latter qualities are more difficult and rare, in the sense that the amount of work required to reach a genius level in any field is tremendous.
Perhaps its the fault of todays startup culture, where everyone is expected to have a breakthrough workaholic temperment.
by blindm on 8/25/20, 3:37 PM
A great article. There is a German-derived word to describe a so called extraordinary person: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%9Cbermensch
Also worth reading: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Man_theory
by kerabatsos on 8/24/20, 9:08 PM
I look at this in terms of the sport of distance running. I was a fairly accomplished runner, but I could only see who was a better runner - not those who were not. It's a matter of perspective. The top tier marathoners all faced faster runners in front of them - all of them, at some point. So I guess my point is that what constitutes extraordinary is often subjective.
by greentimer on 8/25/20, 12:59 AM
By the principle of Pyrrhonism, it's better to do as little as possible rather than try to accomplish a lot. Your brain could be damaged / controlled in a way that prevents you both from seeing the damage / control as well as other errors in your thinking. In a world with unbounded uncertainty on your own thoughts, it's best to do next to nothing.
by tonymet on 8/24/20, 5:46 PM
Being mediocre is a perfectly healthy aspiration.
by audiometry on 8/25/20, 2:52 AM
The two heuristics I use for this difficulty: 1) Recognizing "Comparison is the thief of happiness" 2) Recognizing that the internet burnishes these peoples' successes and hides their difficulties and shortcomings and suffering.
I don't see the full picture, and looking at the picture wouldn't make me happier anyway.
by Minor49er on 8/24/20, 7:19 PM
I'd like to mention the book "Missing Out: In Praise of the Unlived Life" by Adam Phillips which carries a similar sentiment. It might be worth checking out if anyone regularly feels anxiety or frustration about where they are in life when they could just as easily feel satisfaction instead.
by jarbus on 8/24/20, 8:56 PM
Something I've struggled with for a long time is finding the point of trying when people better than you have failed. The only answer I could come up with is because "you aren't them." Going for my PhD in AI, going to give it my all, and see what I can do.
by icedchocolate on 8/25/20, 3:23 AM
Feels like the author is catching on to the realisations outlined here:
https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-...
by prvc on 8/24/20, 10:47 PM
Most people are not extraordinary, by definition. I have never detected any cultural message which states that everyone ought to be extraordinary in order to be worthwhile. The opposite seems to be valourised, in this cultural moment, in my observation.
by pombrand on 8/24/20, 9:32 PM
I think there's something to be said for being a specialized generalist.
Being a true jack of all trades can mean you're mediocre at everything, it's better IMO to specialize on certain skills within different fields - ideally ones that synergize.
by hellweaver666 on 8/25/20, 8:58 AM
One of my favourite books is "small giants, companies that chose to be great instead of Big".
I wish more companies were ok with just being really good at what they do and focused on that instead of how to get the big pay day and the fuck you money.
by kirso on 8/29/20, 10:42 AM
Mark Manson actually wrote a great article on this: In defense of being average => https://markmanson.net/being-average
by jeandejean on 8/24/20, 9:47 PM
Very refreshing and inspiring. Reminds me of that well known quote: "done is better than perfect". It could be rephrased as "good is better than extraordinary" to summarize that post.
by classified on 9/1/20, 9:45 AM
This is hilarious. One article about not being extraordinary, and most commenters explaining exactly how extraordinary they are. Being extraordinary seems to be the most ordinary thing after all.
by hoseja on 8/25/20, 6:27 AM
>No one starts off as extraordinary
Huh? I challenge you to remove from that list of overachievers all the people who had rich, smart, supportive parents. I think you will find it considerably shrunken.
by sebringj on 8/24/20, 7:07 PM
ability = hours * talent^2 where average talent is 1
Having an ego is just wasted energy, try to be happy with what you can achieve because you cannot control talent, just hours.
by scott31 on 8/24/20, 8:22 PM
This is also the motto of Golang, which is also the reasons it is one of the most practical programming language out there for getting stuff done.
by sigalor on 8/25/20, 2:28 PM
Well, this article is certainly lovely, but does no one else think that this has been written by GPT-3? Did just I become a hopeless sceptic?
by naveen99 on 8/25/20, 1:16 AM
just imagine something you want to happen or exist, then make it happen or make it exist. ordinariness is irrelevant.
Having a goal that’s only “being better than someone else” is silly unless you are in a formally competitive situation. Doesn’t make much sense as a life goal.
Chose a concrete goal that doesn’t shift arbitrarily on what other people have done.
by wombatmobile on 8/24/20, 8:24 PM
"There is a real magic in enthusiasm. It spells the difference between mediocrity and accomplishment."
- Norman Vincent Peale
by every on 8/25/20, 4:25 PM
I like to think of myself having an extraordinary mix of mediocre talents and profound shortcomings...
by tonymet on 8/24/20, 5:46 PM
It's ok to aspire to mediocrity
by gojomo on 8/24/20, 9:06 PM
10y ago, I posted some similar thoughts about how reading HN risks demotivation via a memetic mechanism similar to the 'negative allelopathy' in biological systems: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1537692
Reproduced here, as it's just as relevant, or moreso, today:
I fear that what you're feeling is a dark side of the net's otherwise positive aspects. (It's not just HN.)
The net lets us see all the great output from the most talented writers, thinkers, doers of their fields -- including people who we could imagine to be our peer group. But what we see is not an accurate sample -- it's dominated by the most remarkable, outliers by both skill and luck. (That is, there's massive survivorship bias; see Taleb's Fooled by Randomness.) Still, if we choose to look, it's in our face every hour of every day, in our news feeds, our Twitter streams, our Facebook statuses.
(Compare also: the quality of social networks whereby for almost everyone, your friends will have more friends than you [1]; the Matthew Effect, whereby small changes in initial endowment of power/fame/success can compound [2]; and how viewing top athletes can actually decrease someone's coordination in following challenges [3].)
In the plant and insect world, sometimes as one organism thrives, it sends off chemical signals that suppress the growth of its siblings/peers/neighbors, in an effect called allelopathy.
Information about others' great works and successes, transmitted by the net, may sometimes serve as a sort of memetic negative allelopathy. The message is: this territory is taken; you can't reach the sunshine here; try another place/strategy (or even just wither so your distant relatives can thrive). This can be be the subtext even if that's not the conscious intent of those relaying the information. Indeed, the reports may be intended as motivational, and sometimes be, while at other times being discouraging.
What to do? Not yet certain, but awareness that this mechanism is in play may help. You can recognize that what you're reading is not representative, and that comparing yourself against prominent outliers -- or even worse, vague composites of outliers who are each the best in one dimension -- is unrealistic and mentally unhealthy.
Actual progress for yourself may require detaching from the firehose a bit, picking a narrower focus. (HN's eclectic topic matter can be inherently defocusing.)
And remind yourself that despite various reptilian-hindbrain impulses, most interesting creative activity today is far from zero-sum. The outliers can win, and you can win too (even if you don't achieve outlier-sized success). Their success can expand your options, and they may wind up being your collaborators (formally or informally by simply participating in a mutual superstructure) moreso than your 'competitors'.
[1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-scientific-funda...
[2] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matthew_effect
[3] Can't find the reference at the moment, but the study I recall showed people video of a top soccer player, and subsequently they performed worse on tasks requiring physical coordination.
by m1117 on 8/24/20, 7:52 PM
I'm extraordinarily good at procrastinating!
by weregiraffe on 8/25/20, 5:50 AM
Buy can you be extraordinary with not being OK?
by S_A_P on 8/25/20, 2:11 PM
I read the title as "Boeing ok with not being extraordinary". That would be a pretty dramatic statement...
by l00sed on 8/24/20, 10:46 PM
Great post. :) Thanks
by fnord77 on 8/25/20, 2:06 AM
or "overcoming narcissism" ?
by gtilman on 8/24/20, 11:31 PM
It comes from within, my dear princess.
by mattxxx on 8/25/20, 1:56 AM
nah
by neonate on 8/24/20, 8:15 PM
https://archive.is/oOMFR
https://web.archive.org/web/20200824155533/https://www.tiffa...
by m0zg on 8/24/20, 8:06 PM
Just work in a couple of prominent research labs, like I did. You'll be quickly disabused of the notion that you're in any way "extraordinary". At best you can say that you know more than other people in your particular niche. But then you have to concede that other people know more than you do in their niche. There are, however, real freaks out there who know more than you in any niche they decide they need to know something in. What takes you year takes them hours. What takes you hours takes no effort at all - it's immediately obvious. Some of them are humble about this, some aren't humble at all. It can be fascinating or demoralizing, depending on how attached you are to the false notion of your "extraordinarity". Unfortunately for humanity there are only very few of such people. I can't help but think that this is how human mind is supposed to be, and the rest of us are just deficient.
by lowiqengineer on 8/24/20, 8:11 PM
I fully relate to this, but the worst part is being judged as being defective and unsophisticated by the extraordinary people that I surround myself with. It feels like I've already failed at life most days.
by known on 8/25/20, 3:46 AM
"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid" --Einstein
by unnouinceput on 8/24/20, 6:37 PM
We all are extraordinary actually. Human race is in a continuous evolution, so absolutely any of us is an extraordinary person compared with 2000 years ago great minds. A high-school student is better educated then Pythagoras for example.
Conversely, even the greatest minds of today (Hawking, Einstein, etc) will be below high-school kids of the future.
by Subsentient on 8/24/20, 4:39 PM
Yes.... Yes..... Consume, work, run in your hamster wheel. Mediocrity is okay, it's what your overlords desire. Enough to be useful, not enough to affect change.