by jameslk on 4/6/20, 7:23 PM
A lesson I learned from a sales friend of mine (often the hard way): if you really want to say no, don't give reasons why you're saying no.
Just simply say "no, sorry"
Once you start giving your reasoning, the other side can negotiate a compromise or attempt to persuade you into thinking your no is a bad idea. The more information you provide, the more they can use it against you.
If you don't have time for that, just end it at no and say no more.
by motohagiography on 4/6/20, 6:15 PM
When I have received variations on a number of these, I've just interpreted as, "it's a wall of text without the thing I want." The details are unnecessary. The more you talk/write, the less responsibility you are taking, which means the less value you have to offer, and the more vulnerable you are to leverage.
Saying no "up," and saying no, "down," are very different things. Receiving a "no," from above or below are very different as well. Responding with an open ended question or a direct question are also the next moves.
Down: "Thank you, this is not a priority for me/us, I will get in touch if that changes."
Up: "Absolutely agree! In terms of priority, would you prefer it in this unacceptable state, this unacceptable timeframe, or for me to use this new unacceptable authority over these resources?"
by stickfigure on 4/6/20, 7:18 PM
IMO most of these are terrible. They're all far too long. Go ahead and explain yourself to friends and family members; random business contacts (especially cold calls) don't need three paragraphs of text explaining your policies around human interaction.
"Sorry, not interested at this time" is almost always enough. If they write back asking "when", just ignore.
by igolden on 4/6/20, 8:57 PM
While this has some value - it just screams another product that was slapped together in a night for "product hunt" clout.
Most of these examples aren't that great, and it could've been delivered as a blog post.
by asplake on 4/6/20, 5:34 PM
On how to say no without actually saying no, see also Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It by former hostage negotiator Chris Voss. Thoroughly enjoyed the book, recommmended
by lolsal on 4/6/20, 7:17 PM
I find some of these disingenuous:
> Unfortunately, I won’t be able to make it to [Event] on [date]. But thanks again for sending an invitation my way.
That's not saying "No". That's giving an excuse as to why you can't make it. Better to say "No, I'm not interested" or something along those lines.
by tannerbrockwell on 4/6/20, 4:55 PM
by daxterspeed on 4/6/20, 6:42 PM
I'm not a huge fan of template e-mails, if you're just gonna do an automatic response then make that obvious from the start.
However I do see how these can be useful as a reference point, I especially like the templates/examples that have a little story behind them. Saying no "like a pro" isn't about the exact phrasing, but knowing that you can and often should say no.
by antibland on 4/7/20, 9:50 AM
If anyone knows how to deftly bow out of a forced company outing, I'd love to know your method. Last time I tried to get out of one of these things, I informed one of the owners I had too much to do and needed to spend the day catching up on work.
She was furious and told me I was "damaging the culture."
by ricardobeat on 4/6/20, 9:39 PM
Are these curated? There are a few that seem quite smug (eg "deep work"). Be careful in what you choose.
by seanwilson on 4/6/20, 6:33 PM
I think a good tip is that you don't have to explain all your reasons all the time e.g. it's okay to say you're too busy without having to justify what you're busy with.
by gczh on 4/6/20, 4:53 PM
Love this! There were so many many times I wished I said No but I didn't know how to do it. The amount of pain and time wasted that came after were hundreds of hours. I'd imagine if I billed people for those hours, it would have been terribly expensive. Having templates like these would make it way easier for me to say No and avoid all of that now. Thanks Pat!!
by leeronisrael on 4/6/20, 5:33 PM
Looks like "Import all 31 templates into Gmail" redirects to OP's business. Kudos. I think this type of technical, developer-led marketing is the future. Especially as traditional acquisition channels like Social and Search become more saturated and expensive, this type of work will stand out.
by jujodi on 4/6/20, 7:08 PM
These are great, good job. Not sure about the templates though, I got a kick reading these and agreed/disagreed some were useful ways of saying no in different contexts.
by deft on 4/6/20, 6:16 PM
Missing this one: (how to say no to a friend in need)
"Hey! I’m so glad that you reached out. I’m actually at capacity/helping someone else who’s in crisis/dealing with some personal stuff right now, and I don’t think I can hold appropriate space for you. Could we connect [later date or time] instead/Do you have someone else you could reach out to?"
https://twitter.com/fyeahmfabello/status/1196581296564256768
by lazyant on 4/7/20, 4:33 AM
what are "non-transactional meetings"? sounds like a pedantic way to say meetings that could be an email update.
by lidHanteyk on 4/6/20, 6:25 PM
No, thanks. Additionally, I wish that you wouldn't do this, so please stop. Thank you!
by rcarmo on 4/6/20, 5:47 PM
This is great, but needs 31 more ways to say no to recruiters :)
by yhoiseth on 4/6/20, 7:00 PM
Sharing how to say no is the ultimate humblebrag.
by bartread on 4/6/20, 8:20 PM
This is ridiculous:
> Unfortunately, I’m not able to attend because of prior scheduling—but please keep me updated with action items I may be able to help with.
Way to make yourself a doormat.
I have literally never offered to take on action items from a meeting I don't plan to attend, even by implication as here, and I'm certainly not about to start now.
Of course I'm happy to help people but they need to ask explicitly and specifically because, at the end of the day, we're all pretty busy.