by sandwhichmole on 2/1/20, 10:26 PM with 85 comments
Motivated by that definition, what are some things (behaviors, products, type of people, etc.) that you either think should be avoided or have been rewarded by consciously avoiding?
by malux85 on 2/1/20, 11:17 PM
I understand it’s difficult, especially when you’re conditioned to get one since the conversation about college starts when you’re young, but I took one look at it. Saw it was going to be six figure sums, and said no way. Much to the horror of my siblings, parents, friends etc.
Got a job doing help desk and within a year taught myself programming in spare time and landed a well paying job as a developer. I was paid more than the university graduates they were hiring.
I know that university is largely to force people who don’t have enough discipline to self teach AND make social connections, but is that worth hundreds of thousands in debt? No.
There’s going to be a bunch of hate replies to this by people rationalising their debt, who are largely lying to themselves about its worth because they are in too deep, but this thread is about “things to avoid” and my vote is student loans.
Nullius in Verba - think for yourself, make your own decisions
by Balgair on 2/2/20, 12:34 AM
Don't eat anything your great grandmother wouldn't recognize as food. When you pick up that box of portable yogurt tubes, or eat something with 15 ingredients you can't pronounce, ask yourself, "What are those things doing there?".
Don’t eat anything with more than five ingredients, or ingredients you can't pronounce.
Stay out of the middle of the supermarket; shop on the perimeter of the store. Real food tends to be on the outer edge of the store near the loading docks, where it can be replaced with fresh foods when it goes bad.
Don't eat anything that won't eventually rot. There are exceptions -- honey -- but as a rule, things like Twinkies that never go bad aren't food.
Always leave the table a little hungry. Many cultures have rules that you stop eating before you are full. In Japan, they say eat until you are four-fifths full. Islamic culture has a similar rule, and in German culture they say, 'Tie off the sack before it's full.'
Families traditionally ate together, around a table and not a TV, at regular meal times. It's a good tradition. Enjoy meals with the people you love. Remember when eating between meals felt wrong?
Don't buy food where you buy your gasoline. In the U.S., 20% of food is eaten in the car.
In summation:
Eat real food, probably less, mostly plants, with friends/family.
by arcticbull on 2/1/20, 11:12 PM
A bad manager will make or break your experience at a company. Doesn’t matter how great the project is, or the people you’re working with. Do your due diligence, ask around, and if you get even a hint of shenanigans run for the hills.
Similarly if you find yourself with one plan an exit asap.
The priority order when you find a team is: 1- manager, 2- team and 3- how closely the project as is aligns with your interests and expertise. 2- changes over time and 3- is often within your control once you join, but 1- is an awful lot of work to extricate yourself from after.
by synaesthesisx on 2/1/20, 11:05 PM
Obviously not all of it is equal, but there’s certain low-hanging fruit culprits (Facebook and Instagram immediately come to mind). I see far too many people endlessly scrolling IG loops, and apparently many spend an hour+ daily doing so. These applications hijack the brain’s reward pathways and are inherently addicting by design.
Facebook is a trash advertising company with no regard whatsoever for privacy and I’m absolutely stunned that they haven’t imploded yet.
by geff82 on 2/1/20, 11:44 PM
I see many people wanting "love". If I had chosen my wife the same way I had chosen girlfriends before, probably we would have been divorced by now. While I undoubtedly love my wife a lot, I was really careful to primarily find a partner in her, a person with similar goals in life, a person that I might still want to be with and be able to talk to at the age of 99, sitting next to her in a wheelchair. So absolutely avoid not being very, very, honest to yourself and letting alone love and pure attractiveness govern your search for a partner for life. Turn your brain on.
by marklacey on 2/1/20, 11:24 PM
There are people who want to focus on everything wrong around them, and tend to amplify it and create drama. If you find yourself around people like this try to create some distance or cut them out of the picture entirely. If you find that you’re always surrounded by people like this take some time to try to figure out how and why that is happening.
by rsp1984 on 2/1/20, 11:32 PM
You'll find yourself much happier in life spending energy to find good company (of people you enjoy being with) instead of trying to make things work with the people you just happen to be around with. It takes active effort to meet new people but on the long run it's worth the effort many times over.
by zzzeek on 2/1/20, 11:21 PM
by bardworx on 2/1/20, 11:26 PM
The older I become, the more I’ve come to terms that one day I’m going to die. I’ve watched both my parents pass and I’m fairly young (36). Since my mother’s death, I’ve focused on my own demise in a productive way: I always ask if my actions can lead to regret. Not the nonsense regret of not picking the correct job, stock, or purchase but real regret.
Is this release getting in the way of me being a better husband? Is my work trip causing me to miss family time?
Everyone is driven and I’m no exception but what can I do to minimize my regret?
In other words, on your death bed, will I regret not having X more money or will I regret not seeing my kids first steps? Rephrase that question to suit your situation and that should be your driver.
And if you will regret not making more money or doing X product, that’s fine too; that should be your focus. Just figure out what you want, regardless if it changes year to year and pursue it.
P.S. Also avoid caring what others think. They’re not going to die instead of you. Their opinion is worthless. (This includes me if you disagree)
by morninglight on 2/2/20, 4:46 AM
by _Microft on 2/1/20, 11:02 PM
by koolba on 2/1/20, 11:34 PM
by rcarmo on 2/2/20, 3:40 PM
As an engineer by training (and vocation), exposure to a cesspool of over-excited sales teams with overinflated egos, impossible targets, zero alignment with reality and the “always be closing” mentality nearly drove me insane, especially when I was called in to bring “technical credibility” to stuff that defied logic or when I was told I was “a negative influence” by pointing out (internally) that the sales pitch had the solidity of warm, brown fudge.
Toxicity usually escalates very quickly from then on.
Proper consulting (which also involves _pre_-sales, but which has to be grounded in reality because you’re gauging commitment and risks to all parties) is much saner in comparison - the rule of thumb here is to never work in a customer-facing position with people who will vanish from sight the moment a deal is signed.
by bluewalt on 2/2/20, 8:35 PM
Recently I found out that some people are truly happy being single. They're not acting. The only problem for them, is how people treat them in a condescending way: "Don't worry, love is coming for you, you'll be lucky too".
by lazyant on 2/1/20, 11:31 PM
by mojuba on 2/1/20, 11:14 PM
- If your plan is to become an entrepreneur, start building your network early. Build slowly but surely, there is no rush, but one of the worst things that can happen to an entrepreneur is to be alone with your ideas and visions.
- People change as they age or when they get rich. You don't have to.
by minblaster on 2/2/20, 1:34 AM
Status, prestige, being the “best” are relative, not absolute measurements. Someone else’s gain is your loss.
Health, love, education (to build a skill) are absolute. Someone else’s gain can benefit and inspire you.
by scarejunba on 2/1/20, 11:39 PM
by CM30 on 2/2/20, 11:23 AM
Okay, I know that's not possible for everything. Renting a home is virtually a must in places with high housing prices, and a mortgsge is often needed when buying a house.
But in 95% of cases, renting something is a worse deal than buying it outright, and will leave you worse off as a result.
1. It's more expensive, especially in the long run. There's a reason so many companies have gone with the whole 'SaaS' model, and that's because it costs the customer a lot more to keep shelling out cash month on month.
2. It's a liability if you run into financial difficulties, since you have to either stop using said thing, or keep paying money you might not have/might need for more important things. Actual property can be sold instead.
3. And it's a security risk/livelihood risk that can be targeted by your enemies. The only reason stuff like cancel culture even 'works' is because so many companies would rather save their own reputation than stand by their csutomers, and because that can be exploited against others.
by cmroanirgo on 2/1/20, 11:27 PM
Most spiritual texts talk of the dangers of following desires, and avoiding something is almost the same as following one's desires. The degree of difference is in how you look, either toward what you want, or away from what you don't want.
Unfortunately, as I go thru life I realise the spiritual texts are probably right and that giving into desires leads to more selfishness, which leads to giving into more desires... a never-ending cycle.
So I would dispute the wisdom in 'filtering' out undesirables, and realise that we're all on this rock, and being selfish leads nowhere but different peoples being unable to communicate and relate.
It's better to learn acceptance, and if something comes your way that you don't like, then try and learn why it is so & why you react so. Asking "why?" Is a far more powerful concept than 'filtering'.
by natalyarostova on 2/1/20, 11:20 PM
*thats not to say there aren’t more effective ways to learn hard things. But that’s just optimizing in return per minute of pain :)
by ericls on 2/1/20, 11:07 PM
by ilamont on 2/1/20, 11:28 PM
The former are easier to spot, the latter much harder especially if they are extroverts and radiate a sheen of confidence or capability.
by dzdt on 2/1/20, 11:13 PM
by xiphias2 on 2/1/20, 11:37 PM
There are many great HN threads of investing, and the earlier you start, the earlier you can retire if you want.
by pgt on 2/1/20, 11:20 PM
by dehrmann on 2/2/20, 1:49 AM
by shreyshrey on 2/1/20, 11:32 PM
by alashley on 2/2/20, 1:03 AM
by _5659 on 2/1/20, 11:23 PM
To consciously avoid, is to avoid conscience.
by cheez on 2/1/20, 11:37 PM
by sys_64738 on 2/2/20, 2:43 AM
by jhatemyjob on 2/1/20, 11:16 PM
by moltar on 2/2/20, 3:34 AM
by motohagiography on 2/1/20, 11:35 PM
by Yetanfou on 2/1/20, 11:50 PM
by sergiotapia on 2/2/20, 7:43 AM