from Hacker News

Helping People Until Not Helping

by pepeto on 6/5/10, 8:36 AM with 3 comments

just thoughts on the topic. Dbe glad to hear opinions
  • by soyelmango on 6/5/10, 9:21 AM

    "I have this incredibly strong urge to help people."

    Me too. When I hear a problem, I instinctively offer a solution, or at least try to work through the problems to a solution. Apparently, it's a male trait - "Ug! Man solve problem."

    Then I was offered advice along the lines of "Don't offer advice until you're asked for it." Oh, meta. When someone's telling you of his problem: he's not necessarily asking for a solution, he's not necessarily looking for tips, he maybe doesn't even want to change... he just wants to rant and whinge a bit - and if you offer a solution, it's usually unwelcome and you're frustrating his venting. Of course, if he's ranting, whinging and venting the SAME problem after a few years... well!

    Thanks for posting this - I'd recently forgotten that line of advice and had reverted to being Mr Instant Problem Solver!

    Maybe this openness is a trait of HN readers - knowledge accumulators, problem solvers, generous time givers, open-sourcers - that doesn't apply to the wider population!