from Hacker News

I got arrested in Kazakhstan and represented myself in court

by drpp on 7/21/16, 5:35 PM with 239 comments

• by grizzles on 7/21/16, 10:38 PM

  This dude just grassed on all the people who bent the rules to be nice to him. With pictures. For a moment of blog fame. Very uncool.

• by steven777400 on 7/21/16, 7:44 PM

  Great read. I've never been in a situation where a bribe might have helped and so it's good to get some idea of "how bribes work" for possible future reference.

  I have noticed that it seems valuable to project being "poorer" rather than "richer" when traveling. Naively it might seem like throwing money around would grease all sorts of wheels but the opposite has been my experience (although probably I just don't have enough money to throw around to really grease the wheels).

• by exabrial on 7/22/16, 6:42 AM

  I don't know even what to make of this... The preamble suggests that Kazakhstan justice was superior to American justice, but after reading the whole story I'm like... dude, grow a sense of self-responsibility. It's not like your visa expiring was a surprise... you knew exactly when it was going to happen, and YOU CHOSE to violate it without giving yourself any wiggle room. Then you willingly participated in a corrupt system, rewarding those who profit from it.

  It would have been so much easier and involve less questionable ethics to just leave more than 24 hours in advance.

• by nathan_f77 on 7/21/16, 9:43 PM

  Ooh, I have a relevant story that I've never shared before.

  I was living in Kazakhstan for a while and had to take the overnight train to Kyrgyzstan for a visa run. They're very old trains. I woke up around 3am and had to use the restroom. The train had just stopped at a station in the middle of nowhere, and it was the middle of winter. I went to the restroom. I flushed. But when I looked down through the toilet, I saw snow and train tracks. These trains didn't have anything to collect waste, they just flushed straight onto the ground. I immediately heard some loud whistles and shouting, and footsteps.

  I rushed back to the bed and hoped that no-one saw me, but it was too late, and then we spent the next 30 minutes talking to soldiers. I wasn't sure if they were asking for extra money, or if it was something we needed to pay anyway because we were crossing the border.

  It was a tiny train station in the middle of nowhere, and we had no SIM cards, so I started thinking about what we would do if they kicked us off the train. I was actually kind of excited about the idea of building an igloo and sleeping there overnight, and then going to get some help in the morning. That would have been a better story, but in the end they just let us go.

  So don't flush any ex-soviet train toilets when you're stopped at a station in Central Asia.

• by vbezhenar on 7/21/16, 9:31 PM

  I'm surprised, that a western man is so ready to participate in corruption. I live in Kazakhstan and I would be very afraid to bribe an official, it could become worse very fast and if you are caught with that, you'll have to bribe much more people or end up in a jail with a very serious offence. I definitely don't recommend to bribe an official in Kazakhstan, usually it's better and safer to follow a law.

• by dakics on 7/21/16, 8:55 PM

  Great story!

  5 years ago we went on a Mongol Rally. Driving European vehicle through the Stans makes you easy prey for local policeman. My co-driver had a strategy of befriending them and sharing small gifts (pens, lighters etc.). Most expensive were Tajik GBAO guards, they got headlamps. During my shifts I had 2 encounters but played dumb, even though I'm native in similar language and could communicate. No bribes given. :)

  Had a great time in Semey, KZ and later across the border in Barnaul. Must go back some day, driving, of course:). If you love big skies of US west, you'll be in heaven in Kazakhstan.

• by jlg23 on 7/21/16, 11:48 PM

  Great read, but I don't buy it. I've not been to Kazakhstan but traveled Africa and South America extensively. I've been to war zones. A lot of things don't add up:

  * A cop takes a bribe, is surprised the tourist is in some computer and then returns the bribe? I've never ever encountered a cop who takes bribes but does not know how the system works. They are not this stupid. This, by the way, is the best way to avoid bribing: Point out you accept punishment and let them work out the consequences for them - paperwork, getting you to jail etc. All this for a visa that expired a few hours ago? I'm sure they'll find a less work-intensive way to let you go.

  * Cops being happy to have some "criminal" around for getting drunk and they even pay? No, they rather take your money and get drunk with their friends.

  * The girl's story did not make much sense (abortion, breaking up, being raped, leaving school, being arrested, being dug on by a male guard while making out with a female guard and all of this within 24h? wait, what, I am missing some connections here).

  I'm not saying that the base of the story ain't true, but there is, IMHO, a lot of storytelling in there, too.

• by mind_heist on 7/21/16, 7:50 PM

  Is that picture going to get Irlan in trouble ?

• by swimnow on 7/21/16, 8:21 PM

  Something similar happened to me. I was a citizen of Uzbekistan at the time. I was about to fly out of Almaty. When the lady at the checkpoint saw my passport, she asked where my exit visa was. I never knew all the Uzbek citizens needed one to leave the post Soviet territory. So, I was denied my seat on the plane. Had to renew my ticket for $50. Come next day, another lady at the checkpoint says the same thing - without the exit visa I am not going anywhere. The plane was already boarding and I was about to miss it again. She saw me getting agitated and says "why don't you talk to this man here?". He said everything could be arranged for mere $300. Even though I was an actual student and poor as a church mouse, I had to pay it. I was let out.

• by gheeohm on 7/22/16, 4:45 PM

  I'm amazed by the amount of negative comments.

  In my opinion, this is a great, well written traveling story, where no objective, willful harm was caused by the author. What I got from it was that a book should not be judged by its cover, it's important to try and relate to people when traveling, and violence against women is a horrible problem.

  If the names weren't changed, you could say he was a bit naive (although the odds of this ever reaching Irlan seem somewhat small to me), but ultimately, he portrayed all of the people he met in a positive light that makes me want to visit Kazakhstan.

  I think being in such a situation, out of one's comfort zone, gives great perspective on what really matters (although it's not for everyone).

• by mildbow on 7/21/16, 7:55 PM

  Heartwarming story.

  What I've experienced is, all over the world, people will try to help: if you seem like you need help and don't have all the answers/money.

  For travelers -- if you know the local language, speak it. I had a scary experience in the same part of the word and managed to "ingenious" my way out of it. Speakign the local language just helps people identify with you more.

  treat them like a person and they'll treat you like you are a person.

• by HNaTTY on 7/21/16, 10:53 PM

  Reading this and then going back and reading his SF arrest story (linked in the article) is a real contrast.

• by atmosx on 7/22/16, 5:01 AM

  All ex-communist countries were poverty is the status quo have a similar way of dealing with things. We call it bribe, but most of us are on the bright side of the planet, financially speaking at least.

  If Irlan didn't wanted to be bribed there would no discussion. All the chit-chat was in order to induce the victim to bribe him.

  I heard much more salty stories from my father who was a Businessmen in the Balkan area in the 90s and 00s. After 2002 the situation in the Balkan area improved a lot, but it's not uncommon for police officers to get bribed, it's their way to make ends meet and the easier way for a foreigner to get things done.

• by joelhaasnoot on 7/21/16, 7:44 PM

  Cute story, but wonder if the outcome would be the same if the author hadn't originally been Russian and didn't speak Russian.

• by jgust on 7/21/16, 9:00 PM

  Can anyone tell me what this means?

  > ...in another ten years, you will see, we’ll be living like Arabs.

• by fsckin on 7/21/16, 8:07 PM

  This reminds me of Bert Kreischers' story about his travels in Russia as part of a language immersion trip.

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PAtFsJY5q0

• by polytap on 7/22/16, 4:34 AM

  This story reflects most poorly on the author himself.

• by kharms on 7/22/16, 2:11 AM

  "I could have called the US embassy, but from past experience I knew their help was often useless, and occasionally even harmful."

  This was an interesting throw away. I wonder what his experience was.

• by ommunist on 7/22/16, 4:31 AM

  for god sake, the author has to at very least change names of the guys who sincerely helped him to avoid serious troubles.

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• by staticfish on 7/21/16, 7:41 PM

  what a wonderful story. really puts arguing about typesafe frameworks in perspective..

  A+++ would read again.

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• by agentgt on 7/22/16, 9:30 AM

  The author is very gifted writer. I was hoping for a quick skim but I could not stop reading.

• by Twirrim on 7/22/16, 3:56 PM

  "He who represents himself has a fool for a client" - Abraham Lincoln.

• by lunchTime42 on 7/22/16, 12:48 PM

  We are programmers and architects - do not bend the rules, we made them, your bending suggests flaws and imperfection and is offending.

  Trains shall run on tracks. Spontanious agents are a loss of controll. The horror.

• by johansch on 7/21/16, 8:30 PM

  a) Sensationalist headline - something that seems amazing to someone who is not e.g. russian - but the person is actually russian

  b) Outing the photo of a cute 18 yo girl "who just got raped"

  Yes - an interesting story - but this is extreme clickbait likely for profit. And problematic in other dimensions. This guy is an opportunist who does not seem to care about other people.

• by fiatjaf on 7/22/16, 1:58 AM

  Is this real?

• by cloudjacker on 7/21/16, 11:42 PM

  and the award for biggest snitch of the year goes to OP......

  can you like take this down?