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Ask HN: Is anyone else depressed, reading about all the success stories ?

by tevlon on 3/17/16, 4:32 PM with 16 comments

I have a feeling that everyone, except me is doing something with his life. I am very interested in starting a venture. But, i lack money. I can't pay even the rent next month. I am afraid that i will never be able to do something. Although i have ideas i want to implement. Maybe i should realise that i am just a wannabe entrepreneur, a wantepreneuer. Does anybody else feel the same way ?
  • by lsiunsuex on 3/17/16, 4:39 PM

    Welcome to being a programmer on HN / in general - where it seams every day a company gets bought / funded / 100k's of customers.

    In reality, it's not like that. Ideas don't grow on trees and many, many people fail multiple times before they succeed. There's no book on how to do it; there's no 1 way and what works for abc company didn't work for def company.

    Find a day job; make some money.

    Find an idea that your passionate about; code it - submit it somewhere (here is a good start) - show people / get them using it / get feedback. If your not passionate about it; no one else will be either.

    Stick with it long enough / until you can determine if it's going somewhere or not.

    Rinse / repeat until you find the success you want.

  • by tixocloud on 3/18/16, 2:35 PM

    What's important is to not get caught up by all these success stories. They are just massive leaps from where your current situation is and it'll demotivate you because you feel like you can't get there.

    There are many stories where people start from literally nothing at all. And you never ever here all the work that goes into creating success (not to mention luck as well). Here's my favourite blog post about just grinding it out: https://www.groovehq.com/blog/lewis-howes-interview

    Instead, start off by having a big goal but also one more modest - nothing too easy but not one that's too improbably to achieve. It's important to have small wins just as it is to have big wins. Everyday is an opportunity to improve things. Analyze what just happened and continuously improve and grow.

    Personally, I knew of a person who lived in his van, who went on to become a famous photographer and earned millions. During his moment of success, he became arrogant and stop challenging himself. Eventually, his wealth faded away and he was back in his van. It was only after he started appreciating everything in his life and started to challenge did he see his fortune come back again.

    I believe that you're destined for greatness. Your situation is temporary and you can absolutely change it. Don't be depressed by someone else's success. Keep going.

  • by ericzawo on 3/18/16, 4:02 AM

    There's a great story about Pablo Picasso that, while I'm not sure if it's actually true, has a lot of meaning for me, and serves as a reminder about hard work and success.

    One day near the end of his life, Mr. Picasso was dining at a café in France when an American tourist, and fan of his, approaches him. Bewildered, the tourist asks for a photograph, to which Picasso agrees. They get friendly, and before long, the tourist asks for a sketch. Being a big fan, and a man who's clearly done his homework on art, Picasso agrees, pulls out his fountain pen, and quickly sketches a portrait of the tourist on a napkin. The tourist, amazed, thanks Picasso and reaches for the napkin portrait, but Picasso moves it away, and without skipping a beat, says, "that'll be 15,000 francs." The tourist is shocked. He says, "but that doodle took you five seconds!" Picasso smiles, and replies, "no, it took me five decades."

    You never hear about the work that goes into success, even the overnight success stories. Overnight success stories don't happen in one night. The easy answer is there are no easy answers. Keep working, keep pushing, and keep believing in the chance and the opportunity of the day before you. That's way more than many others on this planet ever get, so make the most of it.

  • by d4rkph1b3r on 3/17/16, 6:19 PM

    > Maybe i should realise that i am just a wannabe entrepreneur, a wantepreneuer.

    Yeah, you probably are. So fix that. Step one, learn to code (better?), and get a development job. Do that for a bit, save some money, then figure out step 2. You can't change the past so don't let it unduly influence what you'll do next.

  • by yolesaber on 3/17/16, 8:54 PM

    I don't get depressed because of the success per se. I get depressed because most of the ideas that get funding / traction / press are awful and unimaginative and only further drive people in tech to seek out money and fame as the end result rather than helping to make the world a better place.
  • by stray on 3/18/16, 3:12 AM

    Don't compare what you know about your life to what you know about other people's lives -- because you only know about their successes. While you know both the good and bad about your own.

    Baby steps.

    Don't try to do big things. Do small things completely and with great care -- and celebrate those tiny victories.

    You see, you never know where those tiny projects are going to eventually lead.

    Google started off with a guy thinking "hey, what if you were to think of the world wide web like a graph -- I bet you could get better search results by ranking pages by the degree of incoming arcs".

    It was actually a relatively small idea.

    So just take some baby steps and see where they lead. And don't worry about stumbling and falling -- babies suck at walking.

    Even the ones who will eventually win marathons.

  • by kafkaesq on 3/17/16, 6:27 PM

    I've felt that way many times. And I'm not even trying to be an entrepreneur, necessarily.

    My workaround? Comes from recognizing the following:

    (1) In many ways, our "system" (not just the tech meritocracy cult, but our whole consumption-oriented society) is strongly predicated on promoting feelings of inferiority, "coulda-shoulda-woulda" and anxiety generally. It's it's main oxygen source, in fact. So whenever I feel myself feeling beset by these pangs and impulses, I try my best... to deny the system its "oxygen" by questioning the validity of these pangs and impulses. And looking instead for other sources of validation / motivation.

    (2) More drily, there's a huge selection bias in all of these success stories. We nearly always hear about the winners, only very seldom about the failures. And even the "big" winners, talented though they are, might have been only "so-so" winners had it not been for certain twists of dumb luck.

    Not to mention the legions of "so-so" winners (e.g. that total schmuck you know who just got a $30M B-round) who might otherwise just be regular devs, perpetual grad students, or slaving away at an investment bank right now, had they had the tragic misfortune of being born a few years later, or earlier.

    (3) Finally, so some extent maybe I do suck, at least at this game. Or maybe I don't? Either way, a healthy amount of self-doubt isn't a bug, it's a feature -- and nearly omnipresent amongst people who are in any way trying to achieve their potential, and question the limits and rules set by others (as nearly any biography of successful people will tell you).

    As such, when viewed properly and used properly, this kind of self-doubt can not only not be a straightjacket -- it can be an invaluable energy source.

  • by LarryMade2 on 3/18/16, 3:09 AM

    You gotta remember you aren't reading one guys' everlasting fame but a long series of average Joe programmers' 15 minutes of fame one after another. If they are lucky they pop up again a time or two more but between those is a lot of work and struggle.

    Hang in there, do what you can now, and plan on what you can't right now.

    Reading HN does that, mainly because all the shiny stories float to the top. Also stuff you work on never seems as shiny as something new you hear about (even if if yours really is cooler) mainly because you live your stuff 24/7 and all you see most of the time are the bugs you have yet to squash.

  • by Raed667 on 3/17/16, 7:49 PM

    I have been there (maybe still am). This video [0] explains the phenomena.

    [0] : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRPZL5ZZuU8

  • by studentrob on 3/17/16, 6:29 PM

    Don't sweat it. I recommend the book Mindfulness in Plain English
  • by lgieron on 3/17/16, 7:14 PM

    Probably the best way to find out if you really want to start a business (as opposed to just talking and reading about it), is to just start one. If you can stick through the rough times, you're the real deal and if not - you've learnt something important about yourself. As for the lack of money, it can be solved by getting a high paying job for a couple of years (to accumulate savings).
  • by jbchoo on 3/18/16, 12:26 AM

    No I'm not feeling that depression you're talking abt. I feel motivated. And amazed at how their stories got marketed so well. Who are the heroes behind all these publicities? How can I learn from these actions to create that level of reactions.
  • by gitcommit on 3/17/16, 8:43 PM

    You only hear success stories, but you don't hear all the things they tried that didn't work out. Success usually doesn't happen overnight, don't sweat it.